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Saturday, November 12, 2011

The Happy Post

I have been smiling for a while now. And guess what? World's best smile comes free! Do I have a reason to smile? Now this is a trick question and the answer is even trickier. I can say that I have absolutely no reason to smile and be happy or I can say I don't really know from where to begin! In both ways, I speak nothing but the truth!

I am blessed with the best parents, pillars of strength as friends, a job that satisfies my out-of-job life, a car that understands my need for speed at certain times, a body that warns me when I don't take care of it, soul awakening books that have been my best teachers and most importantly that special someone who's held my hand and never let it go, come storm, come shine. Yes, this is just tip of the iceberg. I have more than sufficient reasons to smile and celebrate my life. But coming to think of it, I had all of these reasons, all along! Was I blind all the while? I was happy then too but there were ugly pockets of agony raising their curious heads every now and then. I know I must have invited them somehow. But I am unable to point a time and place when I passed this invitation!

This brings me to the first part of my answer. I have no reason for my happiness. I don't believe in reasoning things out. Not coz I would fret over not finding reasons but just coz I believe there are far more important things to concentrate my energies on. Everything in this world can be reasoned out. But its not always worth our efforts. We often find reasons to be happy while the truth remains we need none! Happiness is the basic state of mind.

My companion to office and back home is a backpack. People call it the travel bag coz it is always all flared up like nostrils of a raging bull! Not to forget it can give a body builder some workout for his biceps. Alas, it finds its way and rests on my back giving it a workout which it didn't sign up for! Now you might ask me what would I possibly be carrying in that office bag of mine that makes me hunch like an old witch preparing magic potions! You have to believe me on this - I DON'T KNOW!

The only things I am sure of finding in my bag every time I dive in it are water bottle, a book, lunch box(es) wallet and a comb. (mentioned in the order of importance!) Knowing my weight lifting abilities the above mentioned items are not enough to burden me. (I am tough, you know!) Yet every time I put the backpack on, I go - Damn, am I taking a baby elephant on a ride???

Now that you think I might have told you something that you probably have no interest in, lemme give you an analogy. My backpack with basic amenities is like a natural state of mind. It's just about the right weight and ensures I am not bogged down. I have what I need, I have what I can handle without slipping on the path ahead. I am happy. Then I start adding things into my backpack.

 Do I need them? I don't know.
Will I use them? I may never.
Can I handle the extra weight? I can't.


In spite of a negative response to all of the above, will I still retain them in my bag? Oh yeah!

You see what I've done? For reasons inexplicable, I have burdened myself. I know it's gonna bring me no good. But yet I am not agreeing to part away with things that may cause me agony. This thought crossed my head when I was frantically rummaging through the mess in my bag to find my wallet! My basic, important thing lost in the mess that occupies my bag.

In similar way, I have side-tracked the important things in life, running behind illusions which I thought would bring me happiness. Probably they might. I don't really know. But what I do know is a bird in hand is worth two in the bush! Dreaming is good, but sacrificing the core stuff for hoping to achieve those dreams is not worth!

How may times have we weighed down your minds and hearts with things that we aren't even sure of? How many times have we over looked the happiness and health smiling at us, to reach a delusional ecstasy? You don't need reasons for anything - happiness or sadness. If you really wanna live your dreams, you need to be happy in your present, live every moment of it, experience each joy the present has to offer and work towards your calling, with a happy heart. Don't look for reasons to be happy, give happiness enough reason to find you and never let go of you.

P.S : Practicing what I just preached, task for this weekend would be clearing my backpack!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Lover boy

Here's presenting the story of the eternal lover boy...

I am the "stud-boy", or so people think. I have always prided myself to be the best. People agree. I've had girls hovering over me like bees over flowers. Yes, I was proud of it back then, very proud if I may add. I could get who I want when I wanted. No strings attached, I loved my life. Yes, that's the one thing I loved - life.. MY LIFE. Cold hearted beast who gave people the warmth they needed, but kept my heart frozen in time. And then, I saw her.. That was not the face that launched a thousand ships. What's with that attitude? Can't she ever be normal? Now that's one girl I wouldn't want to be associated with. Miss goody-two-shoes. But she caught my attention.. arrghh..  obviously! She's a freak show!

Few years later..

I was still the hunk. Nothing had changed. I was the centre of all the attention and I basked in its glory. There she was again. She might as well be stalking me! She had grown quite contrary to what I had imagined.
There she was, shy, coy, keeping to herself. There was something about her, something inexplicable, something warm. Those eyes, I swear they could bore holes in your body if they wanted to, but they just looked intently, eye lids lowering at every contact. That smile, innocence yet impish, fresh and wide, revealing goodness yet concealing a mystery.That was not the face that launched a thousand ships. But it set something off in my heart. Was it a beat? Was my heart telling me something for the first time? What rubbish, I said. My heart has been frozen since time unknown.

She walks up to me. Wait. Was that a jolt that I just felt? As her lips parted, sweetest of voice addressed me by my name. Never has my name sounded this pleasant. She might as well be calling me a hero! The first real conversation we had left me wanting many more. Few more conversations and I knew I had her where I wanted. She liked me. She admitted. Mission accomplished. Time to move on.

Few months later..

Why the hell haven't I moved on? I wanted her to admit her feelings. One more achievement to my glorious list. Its game over. Isn't it? Well.. I guess not. I miss that voice. I miss that smile. Those eyes, that look of trust, damn I miss it all. She has her hooks deep in my chest! I have never missed a girl!I should probably call her.

That voice may as well take my life. What have I done to earn this trust? Am I even worthy of this love? She had forgiven me. We were friends. But she wanted more. Wait a minute.. was it her or me? I don't remember.. All I do remember is the day when I realized she was far away. So far that I couldn't talk to her. I was almost dead to her. I knew she cared but was I too late?

Few months later..

Destiny brought us face to face. I knew the ice cage had melted. Heart was beating faster with every passing moment. This is it. I am not letting her go anywhere. I have never had to confess anything in my life. But then again, I had no life prior to this moment. My life was staring at me with those beautiful teary eyes. She might as well have killed me! I am never letting those flow down her cheek ever again. I take her in my arms. For the first time, I experience comfort. The warmth of her embrace, the softness of her body, her perfumed hair on my chest, her gentle voice confessing her love for me. This is probably the moment where I was the richest guy in the world, for I finally had my world in my arms.

Few years later..

Those precious beads were flowing down her cheek. I know I had hurt her. I promised her to take care of her. But I must've failed. Those eye accused me. It tore me apart, for I loved her more than anything. She's my world and now she wanted to leave. My world wanted to go away from me. It's your call baby, I said. While my heart cried and pleaded silently, stay with me, please. She did leave. And she took my life with her.

As I sit and ponder over the whole episode now, with a glass of the most expensive scotch ever tasted by mankind, in a mansion built over my love, with the million dollars in my account not being able to buy me peace, I think was it worth it? If only money could bring back time, I would have never let her go. Hell, I would have imprisoned her in my heart and blurred her with my love. I got all that I wanted but haven't got the only thing I really need. Why didn't she wait for me? Over years I have slogged my back side at work, trying to forget her. Achieved all that was to achieve, destroying every obstacle on the way. But she was still there. The faint smell of her perfume reminded me of the void in my heart. The very thought brings a sharp pain. My vision was blurring. I could hear the siren, the commotion. Oh wait.. I hear her. I can't forget the voice. She's here.. Why can't I open my eyes. I can feel pain no more, just her presence. The world shuts itself. It's all dark now, the voices have faded into oblivion.

Some precious moments layer..

I struggle to force my eyes open. There she was. My world was there, right in front of me. I could feel her touch over my forehead. The touch, I had craved for. The trust I had missed all along. The love I had left behind. It was all there.  It must have been a dream. Or I was in heaven. Either which way, I am not leaving this place. "Welcome back", she said. "Feels like I lost it all only to find it the next moment." I could see those precious beads down her cheek again. I knew I had hurt her again. But this time she was here. So was I. She held my hand and I knew my life depended on this hold. I could never release that hand. I could never let her go.

 Overwhelmed, I could only mouth these words,You came back...

So did you..., she said.

While I was on that bed, what hurt me the most were the things I should have said but I didn't. Flashes of my life had her face, not my wealth, not my ferrari, just lovely beautiful her. I swore to myself, if I ever to get a second chance, I would give it all up to win her back. Winning what you have lost makes you the most confident person. But you do not always get a second chance, especially not at love. I lost my world, I won it back. It's a second chance for both of us.

I look into those eye. I know I have nothing to fear. My life is with me now. And I am not letting it go anywhere..

They call me the lover boy. You need not make the same mistakes I did. Don't ever leave anything unspoken. Make sure you tell you better half how much you love them and their value in your life. Remember, the most painful things are the ones you didn't do when you should have, when you could have. Don't let them haunt you. Love the way you wanna be loved..

Lover Boy

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Mind freak!

Anything about you, that you do not control, controls you - Robin Sharma

Profound as it sounds, living your life by it you can be really empowered. (Tried and tested!) Now picture this - a psychopath driving on Bangalore roads, thinking he's possessed by Michael Schumacher spirit, cuts through the traffic as if it were an apple pie and as luck might have it, you find yourself right in front of this esteemed being, driving comfortably, listening to soothing music. Here comes the blaring music of the honk. You ignore it till you can take no more. If you are an ego maniac yourself, you'll get into a death race with this racing spirit. If not, you'll pull the car to one side and keep glaring as he passes by wishing he were under your Tyre! However there are a few sane ones who'll just let it pass, like a bad thought which deserves no place in your head or your life.

I know for a fact that I fall in the first category. Most of the "less egotistic" people fall in the second. What's common in both these categories? The commonalities lie in the after math. It's a given that the first category has 10% reduced life span! So obviously I am not gonna speak about it! But what I actually would wanna talk about is the feeling that you experience due to an absolute stranger and an absolutely worthless behavior, which sticks to you like a leech and ensures its impact is carried along. The 10 seconds incident is given an importance that ensures it would last for the next 10 hours! Either in form of stories you would tell your people - "there are idiots driving on the roads these days", "who ever gave them their license", "more like license to kill!" or in form of hidden anger that raises its ugly head on innocent beings around you.

What would you do then? I agree venting your frustration on the first person you can victimize is the easiest thing to do. You would feel a lot better about making your self feel better without so much as sparing a thought on the victim. This chain may not stop here. It's almost like a game of passing the parcel. You vent your anger on someone, that someone (if he's as mentally stable as you are) will have to pass it to someone else. So as you can see you have set off a chain reaction!

Its said that no one can bring about a feeling in us that is a stranger to us. If you think someone is an ego-maniac, then a good reason can be coz you have lived this feeling to the fullest! If you recognize someones temper, you surely would have exercised the same at some point in time!


We, as human beings are blessed to experience all the feelings there are to experience. We laugh, we cry, we get angry, we crib. To control them, we have been gifted a very valuable thing that we keep locked for most part of our waking hours - our brain! It has the power to make a fair judgement on what we express and how we express. But since we don't believe in living upto our potential, we keep our minds closed to any form of enlightenment!

A higher level of life is always misunderstood for meekness. Most of us might think the third category of people mentioned earlier, need to grow a spine. While the truth is, the rest of us need to grow a brain! Giving everything equal importance in your life is gonna reduce the level of importance that needs to be given to a certain things in you life that play a vital role in maintaining your vitality. Compromising on this is like selling your core values. Some things in life are more important than the rest. Recognize them and give them the respect they deserve. Where as some things are better if you turned a blinds eye to them coz thats where they rightly belong. Things tend to go bad when the clear demarcation between these two is blurred due our "intelligence".  As the world talks about erasing the borders that divide mankind, you need to darken this border between the important and non-existent. Don't waste your energy on the latter for, then the former would turn into the later in no time! 





Saturday, November 5, 2011

La peur

Have you experienced this phenomenon of not liking things that you already have? If yes then Congrats! you are normal! Keeping the normalcy aside, this is the time somebody educated you that you don't always get what you like. If you whine about your current possessions they will sprout wings and fly away from you in no time and leave you with a lot more to cry for!

The feeling of not liking what we currently do or have, can be attributed to fear - the fear of not being able to do what is required to get where we want to, drives us into accepting that we dont like what we do. In this way we can always attribute this as a reason for screwing up things. "I don't care" "This doesn't matter to me". As always easier to run, even though you are a terrible athlete!

Fear is a driving factor. While some take it in their stride and change their course of life for good, the others (read most of them) get bogged down by the very magnitude of it. What are we scared off?

  • We fear what we don't know - Fear of the unknown
  • We fear what we can't explain - Fear of the inexplicable
  • We fear what we can't see - Fear of the dark
  • We fear what we can't do - Fear of gutlessness
  • We fear the consequences - Fear of the outcome
  • We fear we won't be accepted - Fear of rejection
  • We fear being alone - Fear of loneliness
And these are just a few that I had pull out from top of my head. I am sure this list can increase at a deadly pace if you give it more thought! 

A wise man had once told me, "all fears that cripple us, have a history which most of us have long forgotten.The minuscule incident which has been erased from our memory now, once looked larger than life, leaving behind only the feeling it had initially bought about!"

Fear of the dark was born when we were kids and were told that "ghosts" lurk in the dark! Fear of rejection raised its ugly head when we were ousted from a "cool" gang. Fear of loneliness gripped us when we assumed the whole world is against us! Phew.. these were just a few fine examples.. if you think about it, all your fears can be traced back to something small that happened long ago. Some of us may not even remember the incident but what we do remember is the feeling.

Now look back at the list of fears. How can you fear something that you don't even know off? For every possibility of its existence, there's a possibility of it being "non-existent". Every thing in the world is aptly placed where it should be. For reasons that are highly subjective, we can't find reasons to why things are, the way they usually are. Which by the way, is pretty ok. There's nothing wrong in seeking answers. But be prepared that the answers may not be framed the way you would expect them to be. You may not understand them which by no means is a reason to fear them!

People fear the dark. But darkness can also symbolize infinite possibilities which choose to appear when you decide to light your own way. Darkness may as well represent a million hidden opportunities! Doesn't look that scary now, does it? There is a saying, "Whether you think you can or you can't, you are right." From where I see it, you can do whatever you wanna do. There is nothing and I mean absolutely NOTHING that you wanna do and you can't.

A lot of us lose the battle even before we start. Why? coz we've already programmed our minds for a loss. If you get into a battle doubting you'll be anywhere but on the winning side, why fight the battle in the first place? Results are important. What's more important, is believing they would be in your favor.

Finally, we crave for acceptance. Being accepted is a very warm feeling. But rejecting yourself whilst seeking acceptance from the world is a sin! One who doesn't accept himself can be assured that he'll receive rejection from the world. Being alone is not bad, sometimes it is very much required. Don't paint a sorry picture of yourself coz that ain't no modern art and it will most definitely not be appreciated!

Revisit all your fears and see exactly how many of them are worth hanging on to. If the count is not zero, continue to revisit them until it finally reaches nil! ( Unless you fear roaches and crocodiles, all you fears are unjustified!) Fear has a great appetite. It feeds on your vitality until there's nothing left! And if you really wanna be fed on you have better options!

Anything done with all your heart brings you success, whether its a heartfelt status on FB fetching a million "likes" or a task you are hell bent on getting done as a part of your personal achievement! And fear has no place here. 

Life can be tough at times. It gives everyone a fair share of fears. Its only when you rise above it and say the most liberating statement ever - "I fear nothing!", you find avenues of success. Finally remember one thing, "If you fear life and think it is not fair, you are a racist!"

P.S: Merci my Sailor. With your thoughts and my words, we'll sail forever..





Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Crab it!

"If I am going down, I am taking you with me."

"How can he reach the stars when this ground is almost about to suck me in?"

"I wish he fails" and many more to the similar effect.

Atleast at some point in time all of us have used similar dialogues and with intensity that can scare the shit out of mankind! Success is very sweet as long as it belongs to us. If it were holding somebody else's hand we would be looking for a razor sharp sword, all set to chop the hand off! Most of us grew up envying the first ranker in the class and making him the butt of all the jokes, while secretly wishing we could have his scores! Enter college, all of us aspired to be the soccer champion/ cricketing god or the beauty queen. When that didn't happen the reigning champs were made the center of negativity! Well.. I won't lie to you, some of them deserved it!! (Yes.. I am more beautiful than you can ever be and as for you,back off suckers!!) Phew.. that feels great! Anyways, back to the topic!

More than half our lives are spent in finding faults in others and zeroing down on reasons as to why they don't deserve to be where they are right now. That very precious time can be used to get yourself to where you think you deserve to be! But no holy way! We are always interested in having a fork in others cake. And why not? She is where I deserve to be. Do you know if you really deserve it? No. But you'll surely know that she doesn't! And I thought that our reasoning ability gives humans the elevation!! Silly me!


This brings me to the name of this post. When you keep a bunch of crabs in the box with no lid, you can be sure that none will come out. Coz when one tries to, its own kind pulls it down and this chain continues. The very phenomenon occurring in our day to day lives to such a great extent that it can be related more to humans than to crabs!

A beautiful line I came across - "Every one thinks they are different. Doesn't that make us same?" Yes. It's very true. We all comprise of the same energy particles and have same aura. Due to the choices we make, some energize these particles further, making their aura visible and magical ; some remain stagnant ; some find an all time low and create repulsive forces. They look at the magic and say, "this can't be for real", "this can't be for long", "he'll surely come crashing down", "it's all about luck and right time!".

This is for real, this can stay as long as you wish without biting the dust, you find you own luck and yes this is the right time! Make your life meaningful, don't fret over others success (unless you want it to migrate to a far away land!). You don't have to feel happy about other's happiness just feel happy knowing your turn is just round the corner.