American Dreams

24 hours, an extremely ill-organized transit, 4 heavy bags, interesting fellow travelers, fake air turbulence's and 3 movies later - my first words of wisdom - "Her tits were in my face!" I turn around to see the source of this profound wisdom. A young american woman was describing her "escapades" with a bigger entity. (no pun intended guys!) It would be an understatement if I were to say my jaw dropped. I mean come on, when was the last time you heard something like this spoken in such high resonating frequency in India? Oh wait.. I am not in India any more am I? So lets say this was my "Welcome to America!" Not exactly one of the most conventional welcomes but hey, its the land of "liberty"!

I didn't pay a lot of heed to my teachers when they said, "Look left and then look right before crossing a road". This was the day they hadn't trained me for! Where do I look? I don't wanna get run over by a super fast car but I also don't wanna look stupid waiting for a signal to light my path! I am a bangalorean and no signal can ever slow a Bangalorean down! What do I do? Well, while most of you might use your brains, I blindly follow the person who appeared from nowhere and stood in front of me!Voila! Little Shubha is on the other side of the road!

An Indian has the strongest taste buds in the world! So what do we do when we step out of India? Crib about the tasteless food around! I am, quite clearly no different! My first visit to an Indian restaurant, a near disaster if I might add, witnessed me ordering more food than my jet lagged body could digest. After finishing half a parantha I look up only to see a family stealing glances at me. What? Haven't you guys ever seen a pretty Indian girl eating by herself??? Oh hang on? Am I supposed to eat with the silver ware? I mean use a fork and knife to tear my paranthas? Are you freaken retarded?? What do I do now? Do what this place is most known for - smile at strangers!

It's surprising that an Indian is the most Indian when he's outside India. The first independence day outside India, never felt so proud singing the national anthem with a group of fellow country men and women. Who says Independence day is just a holiday? I didn't get one this time!!!

Finally I find some time in the country of work-o-holic coffee drinkers (seriously! what's with the quantity of coffee people drink here!) to do something apart from be nice to people. As I see an untouched roti and half eaten bhindi curry, knowing I am staring at something that will find itself in my plate for lunch tomorrow; as I hear the metra hoot away to glory transporting people to a place diametrically opposite to their office; as I look out of my window seeing empty streets at 8:30 pm; I know this is a new leg of my journey. A journey where I would be attempting homicide my initiating cooking (a tear just rolled down my cheek), a journey where I would be adapting to a temperature of -20, a journey where my smile takes precedence over my middle finger! Lets rock!

One fine morning

Finally... Back in my kingdom! It's funny how things which invigorate you are over shadowed by things that compel you to lead a delusional "busy" life. Anyways, this ain't the time to talk philosophy! This is the time to celebrate for I finally got my password right and could log in just to play with words! Life is awesome again!

I have been looking for a topic to mark my comeback in the world of blogging. And it has been a reaallly long look out! After asking a bunch of sophisticated nobodies, I decided to acknowledge this time in my life - a time, where I voluntarily lost my life support system to the land of snakes and dragons (Ya babie, life ain't same without you in it!) ; a time where I decided to temporarily introduce my life with hot strangers only to realize they were generations younger to moi and felt dejected at the inevitable aging (SUCCKS!!); a time that has brought enough amount of distraction at work to keep me out of my seat for longer than on it (Yes, my lead doesn't have access to this link!); a time, where everything seems to have come to a standstill, just like still water. A time, where I decide to lose the extra buddies, strategically placing themselves on my body at all the wrong places (Thank you Pizzas and sweets. Life would've been "lighter" withotu you!)


The alarm shrieks at sharp 5:00 am. Thanks to my wise move of replacing my previous sober alarm with the current "awakening-the-dead" alarm, I cannot lazily drag my ass off bed a good 2 hours later pretending not having heard to it! I wake up. Oh wait, is this a head ache? I think it is? It's my exercise time! So most definitely it's a headache! Hang on, is that the wind banging against my windows? Surely, it's asking me to sleep extra long coz it doesn't wanna harm my fragile health and bring me under the weather. I get what it is. It's a voice in my head, saying it's not your cup of tea! That's my alarm right there! I pull the sheets off my ailing body. There's nothing in the world "I" can't do!!!

As I drag my yoga mat out, I am almost certain a cockroach would launch an attack for taking away its sleeping place! The cockroach eaten sides of my mat only fuel my suspicion! As the mat hits the floor, no living beings are found on/in and around it. The stage is set. Millions of thoughts run into my head. Which performance would be more appreciated? A splendid display of surya namaskars - only leading to a doctors visit the next day? A possessed dance to loosen my muscles, at the risk of waking any other sleeping soul around? Weighing all the pros and cons I decide to stick to the routine of strengthening my back and stretching my glutes. Meditation opens the door to a wonderful world of unknown. Looks like in my case, this door is gonna be shut for quite sometime! Hats off to you guys who manage to sit in the same position and think of well.. whatever it is you guys think off!

Time for some fresh air now! As I approach the park, fearing to be the only girl in midst of few people who ooze out an aura of mental instability, my eyes pop out of my sockets looking at the hustle bustle in the park at that hour! I mean, really guys! I know its a wonderful morning but do you have any idea how wonderful it is to lie under sheets and snuggle amongst your pillows? Anways ignoring the ever increasing population in bangalore I brave my way through the crowd. Stay focused, says the mind. Everytime I begin to concentrate on my breathing, some freak passes me by, gasping for oxygen. If only I could ask them to stop for a while and consume all the oxygen the plants around us seem to be giving out! But people always are in a hurry. Running on their two feet behind some elusive weight loss, I suppose!

Leave all this aside, FOCUS says the mind again. Ha ha ha ha.. ho ho ho ho.. The sound of laughters fills my ears. What the hell is this? Laughter club! I seriously do not understand the concept of laughter clubs. The same people who think its cool to mechanically laugh like a pshyco give me the looks when I laugh whole heartedly (may be without a reason as in most cases!)

I march on turning my face away from all the amusement that seems to surround me! As its said, obstacles are what you see when you lose focus on the goal. Guess it's high time I realise the seemingly elusive dream of weight loss! More humour just round the corner as the transformation begins!

P.S: Sitting in office, typing this post early morning only makes me wish I could be paid for keeping fit!!!

Ma

“I am not talking to you. You make me eat leaves! They are green, they are yuck and they are LEAVES!”. One of my first memories of my short vegan life! As my temper touched the roof, I stood inside the bathroom. The same bathroom that witnessed the crime of a bowl of spinach rice being flushed to oblivion! I had locked myself in, yelling periodically in midst of my sobs. The lady on the other side of the door was persuading me to let myself out. But I wouldn’t budge until she promised me to never stuff my face with veggies! This incident marked the initiation of a test – test of patience for a woman who I have always pushed to the wall; a woman who makes me wonder, “if this is how a lady is supposed to behave, I am surely a devil in disguise!”; a woman who has redefined the word patience; a woman who’s taught me the meaning of unconditional love and always left me wondering if I was even capable to returning it in minimal amounts! ;a woman of solid principles and a precious heart; a woman I call “Ma”. 

 Sometimes its best to leave things unspoken coz you may not do justice to them while capturing them in flow of words. What I feel for Mom is one such thing. I guess all of you would agree with me on this one. But I would still go ahead with my sincere efforts to recognize and appreciate this excellent creation of God, my mother. Being a home maker for around 30 years, Ma has shouldered the most vital responsibility of holding the family together and keeping us grounded at all points in time. I shudder at the very thought of not having my Mom serving as LOC during war times with Dad!  It’s surprises me at how the job of a home maker is thankless and doesn’t come with a retirement age! Imagine a work environment with peers/managers not stopping to as much as acknowledge your work and get back to you when you least expect only to dump more work on you! Sucks right? Now imagine working for free! Did you imagine that? Sorry, I couldn’t even think of it as a remote possibility!!! 

 It always amazes me how my salary sprouts wings and flies out of the window even before month end! Looking back at my growing up years, I had demands, few more expensive than the others! I would always use my puppy dog eyes to my advantage, “Ma! I want!”. Not hearing a no for an answer, my please would transform into, “Ma!!! I want! I WANT!!“. Guess what? I did get what I want. But I never knew what transpired between the initial no and the final conceding yes. I probably would never know, just like all the sacrifices Mom has made over the years, without keeping a count.  It’s said sacrificing comes naturally to a woman. As unfair and chauvinistic I find this statement, looking at the examples in my life, I know its true. I can’t count the number of sleepless nights Ma has had coz of my impending exams! It hurts me to relive those moments where my dreams took precedence over her needs. I can’t cook to save my life! But commenting on her cooking is like breathing! I am ashamed of all the times I cringed looking at the food, “Don’t you know I don’t like this! Why do you keep preparing this!!” without as much as sparing a thought that probably she liked it, probably she woke up at unearthly hours just to make sure I don’t leave house on an empty stomach.  My first ever drawing was made with my Mom holding my little hand, struggling to hold the crayon. My master piece comprised of a house and 2 trees. I was proud of it. She was proud of me! As the time passed, she was still proud of me. Not that I gave her a lot of reasons to feel that way. But the very thought that Ma appreciates me instills faith in me. “I must have something good going for Ma to feel this way about me“, I think. All the competitions I have participated, all the competitions I have won, have 2 things in common – an utterly nervous me and a loving confident presence next to me, Ma.  Being the only child, I redefined tantrums. From plaiting my hair to draping my first sari, from my first day at school to my last exam in college, my journey has seen her being a silent witness. I talk about a woman who gave away everything she wanted to make way for my dreams. She lived every minute of her motherhood making me the person I am today. I am very proud, not for who I have become but for the reason I am who I am. To say she changed my life would be unfair, for she is my life. I have lived in her for 9 months – a bond, which I may not even understand completely; the same bond which gave her reason to be what she is now. Who say’s there’s a woman behind every successful man? I say there’s a woman behind anything successful! Mom indeed is the world. Hands that rocked my cradle surely did rule my world. 

It ain't real!

Someone once said, "Life's a movie." I really wish I could summon that someone and give him a piece of my mind right now!

Reality check people. Life is a movie only when "Real life" is misspelled as "Reel life"! Stop grinning! Seriously! How many of you have actually heard instrumentals in the background when you found your special someone? How many times have the temple bells gone berserk when you encountered an injustice? How many times have you seen one man beating up 20 people and standing on his feet post the "mega-fight"?

I was involved in a freak accident last week. Freak - coz I did look like one, during and after the incident! Accident - well, I am trying to make it look cool! Anyways, continuing with my story. As I attempted to board the severely delayed late night cab, I felt a shooting pain in my calves. My calves did look like I had worked on them my whole life, all tight and shapely! I surely would've admired their muscular structure hadn't it been for the sharp pain threatening to go up my spine! I took a seemingly wise decision of getting of the cab and stretching my beauties. But hang on! Nothing is my life can be non-animated can it? 

I have an obedient body. Oh yeah! It's usually very obedient, very giving. I can't count the number of times it has held back regurgitation to avoid public display of displeasure or given me enough strength of conquer dizziness until I could find a nice place to rest my posterior! It has almost always given me enough time to have a silent conversation with it, to control it by force or plead! But alas, this wasn't one of those times!

I am barely on my feet when my beautiful legs decide they are way too delicate to handle my popularity-gaining-plump body! Before I knew it, my elite posterior was pasted on the ground. My eye were fixed to the ground too. But out of sheet shock and embarrassment of providing a tax-free entertainment to people around. Yes people, I had fallen hard. My butt did bite the dust! It must have been hear wrenching-ly hilarious. Usually, at such situations I laugh my ass off at people. I am sure their spirits were doing the same at me! In the end, I had to take my sorry figure and put in back on the back seat of the cab.

This brings me back to the topic. Had it been a movie, a handsome beast  would have rescued me in his muscular chunk of arms. If it was a really corny movie, we would have been in the same position, looking into each other's eyes until the song ends! And if it was a cornier movie I would have surely got my calf muscle attended to (if u know what I mean! ) But the point is, none of this happened! The only thing holding my fall was the concrete and need I tell you that it was far away from any cushioning! If you don't trust me ask my borrowed laptop that sits on my lap as my body is stretched on my bed!

So what in a movie could have culminated into an eternal love story, in real life turned into a week's bed rest! So there you go, life ain't a movie! Stop hearing music in your head, in all probabilities a branch just fell on you or you walked right into a wall!

P.S: You wanna make fun of my spine, first grow one before confronting moi!

Present

The most under-rated truth in the universe - the present. Puzzled? Well, let's have an opinion poll. How many of you are currently thinking of the big meeting lined up for tomorrow or planning for the weekend or dreaming of shopping for the marriage you would be attending next month? Ok, I can see 50%  of you raising your hands! Now, the rest of you. Are you thinking of things in the past you regret or wish to change or are you reminiscing the special moments you spent with your close ones to give you enough positiveness to carry on with your daily chores? Some of you are not raising your hands, so I urge the others to raise both their hands to compensate for this!!! So need I say more as to why "the present" is the most under-rated truth?

Few weeks back, work was chasing me like a possessed dog to bite me in my elite posterior. Being the nervous cat that I turn into at certain occasions, I plonked my pretty little butt on a high wall, hoping the dog doesn't get a taste of my flesh! The wall was my safety zone. I knew I was unreachable. But the only thought that ran through my head was, "what if that dog somehow managed to leap over the wall and take me down with it!". Could it cover that distance? Hell no! Could it get a taste of me? No-freaken-way! But did I waste my time on wall fretting about the "what-if's"? Hell yeah!!

My wall was my time off from work, a weekend, divine 48 hours of my life, which I'll never get back even if I were to kill the dog! Possessed dog was my work and surprisingly come Monday, it no longer seemed possessed! It was a domesticated pet which I had personified as plain evil! So owing to my misconceptions and pre-conceived notions I had ruined precious moments of my life. So you see what I am getting to? I wasted my today, coz of something I did yesterday and thinking about tomorrow's something that never happened!

How many of us have a hunch back coz of the burden of yesterday nicely resting on our backs? I can safely say that I have a spinal disorder owing to this! Yes, I have my share of shit. So does everybody! But the first thing you need to do with shit, is clean it off you! And not carry it as a heap on your shoulders! (Kinda gross, I know. Apologies!!!)

Coming to the essence of this post. The one thing that your future depends on is how you tackle your pasts in the present. That doesn't mean that you time travel to you future (i,e day dream in the present) or go back in time to change things. Deal with your issues in the present. No point tracing it back or procrastinating it till they reach a point of no return. Don't let your future become the "present" you spent thinking of your "past" or planning a "future" that never arrived.

The present offers you a present of this moment. Accept it graciously, live it completely.