25/05/2008, Bike trip to win back lost love
Vroooooooooooom.. vroom vroom.. Scrreeeechhh
<several feet above the seat and crash landing on it>
OUUUUUCCCCHHHH
I had definitely hurt something. What was it, I couldn't say. It was all numb. Teary eyes, anxious voices around me. "Are you alright?" "Does it hurt" "We can head back if you want" "Lets cancel the trip right away"
Thinking sane, my answer should have been "Chuck the trip, its not my love that's lost!". But after being in mid-air for a couple of seconds and having a not so soft landing on my delicate posterior had driven my sanity outta my pretty head! "Naaahh.. I am good, LETS GO!" (Still hear these words in my nightmare!)
27/05/2008, Just out of my bath
I hear voices "What happened?" "How did this happen?" "Put her back on the bed". Then I hear the loudest of them all - AAAAAHHHH.. <damn!!! what happened? why am i crying??> Holy shit!! my back hurts!!! Ohh... STOP!!! STOP IT! HELP!!!
A month and a MRI scan later.
"You have a minor case of disc de-generation", the doc says. <I have a what???>
"Nothing to worry" <ya right.. did you even listen to yourself?? Not just one but TWO of my discs!! nothing to worry my arse!>
"You don't need bed rest" <and you call yourself a doctor???>
"Just some physiotherapy and strengthening. It'll be good!" <who?? me or your pocket?>
A year, few months in the gym and more pain later.
"You have nothing to worry." <oh yeah? Is that what you would be telling your daughter?"
"You have to learn to cope up with the pain?" < When was the last time you killed a patient?>
"You can't do regular activities now, no kickboxing,no gym" <alright.. when you prescribing me a ride on wheel chair?
"Do your exercise. If you wanna join salsa, let me know your location beforehand. I'll be there to attend to you" <and he winks> <should probably gauge out your eye. Permanent wink will suit your face you moron>
Guess the moron does have a point. Probably I shouldn't gym anymore. Bit of weight is better than no back!
One more year,a lot more extra pounds and more pain later.
"You have a pathological disability" <Whaa?? Sorry I don't wanna speak or hear negative.. but what the hell was that?>
"You are fine. It's something you have to live with" < Hmm.. I wish the same to your wife you A$$#^!*>
"Have you put on weight? Not good for your back" <Why don't you look down on your pregnant belly doctor!PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH!>
"Come back to me when you think you need a surgery" <oh no no no.. don't cry don't cry... tears please stop>
Alright, I am disabled. I can't have a normal life anymore. He's right after all. Anything is better than going under a knife! My life is screwed! I can't lift weights, I can't dance.Hell, I can’t even travel in an auto! I'll live with it I guess.
Vroooooooooooom.. vroom vroom.. Scrreeeechhh
<several feet above the seat and crash landing on it>
OUUUUUCCCCHHHH
I had definitely hurt something. What was it, I couldn't say. It was all numb. Teary eyes, anxious voices around me. "Are you alright?" "Does it hurt" "We can head back if you want" "Lets cancel the trip right away"
Thinking sane, my answer should have been "Chuck the trip, its not my love that's lost!". But after being in mid-air for a couple of seconds and having a not so soft landing on my delicate posterior had driven my sanity outta my pretty head! "Naaahh.. I am good, LETS GO!" (Still hear these words in my nightmare!)
27/05/2008, Just out of my bath
I hear voices "What happened?" "How did this happen?" "Put her back on the bed". Then I hear the loudest of them all - AAAAAHHHH.. <damn!!! what happened? why am i crying??> Holy shit!! my back hurts!!! Ohh... STOP!!! STOP IT! HELP!!!
A month and a MRI scan later.
"You have a minor case of disc de-generation", the doc says. <I have a what???>
"Nothing to worry" <ya right.. did you even listen to yourself?? Not just one but TWO of my discs!! nothing to worry my arse!>
"You don't need bed rest" <and you call yourself a doctor???>
"Just some physiotherapy and strengthening. It'll be good!" <who?? me or your pocket?>
A year, few months in the gym and more pain later.
"You have nothing to worry." <oh yeah? Is that what you would be telling your daughter?"
"You have to learn to cope up with the pain?" < When was the last time you killed a patient?>
"You can't do regular activities now, no kickboxing,no gym" <alright.. when you prescribing me a ride on wheel chair?
"Do your exercise. If you wanna join salsa, let me know your location beforehand. I'll be there to attend to you" <and he winks> <should probably gauge out your eye. Permanent wink will suit your face you moron>
Guess the moron does have a point. Probably I shouldn't gym anymore. Bit of weight is better than no back!
One more year,a lot more extra pounds and more pain later.
"You have a pathological disability" <Whaa?? Sorry I don't wanna speak or hear negative.. but what the hell was that?>
"You are fine. It's something you have to live with" < Hmm.. I wish the same to your wife you A$$#^!*>
"Have you put on weight? Not good for your back" <Why don't you look down on your pregnant belly doctor!PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH!>
"Come back to me when you think you need a surgery" <oh no no no.. don't cry don't cry... tears please stop>
Alright, I am disabled. I can't have a normal life anymore. He's right after all. Anything is better than going under a knife! My life is screwed! I can't lift weights, I can't dance.Hell, I can’t even travel in an auto! I'll live with it I guess.
18/07/2011,after a bumpy auto ride, salsa, jogging and suryanamskar
Oh my god!!! I can’t walk!! This pain is excruciating! Can I please replace my back!!!
Time for a serious conversation with I, me and myself.
I: I told you not to go back to your old ways!!
Me : Well, you asked her not to live! I told you not to exert! If only you had taken care..
Myself: <laughs> All the while I thought I was one person who actually had a spine!
I: You do! But its not strong enough. You can’t live normally anymore.
Me: You just need to take it easy. Monitor your activities.
Myself : I don’t want to! I wanna do whatever I wanna do. I wanna redeem my life. I just have one life. Can’t live with the regret!
I: The Doc says you can’t be back to normal.
Me: It would help if you listened to him.
Myself: Listen to someone who claims to know me better than I do? Bollocks! I am gonna take things in my control.
I: It’s gonna be painful.
Me: You need to be prepared for the worst.
Myself: There is nothing that can’t be repaired, no moment that cannot be lived, no pain that cannot be conquered. It’s time I thanked the devil for my new mantra “NO PAIN”.
The worst of challenges that we face in life are not due to external factors. It’s the challenges that lie within you, which pose a mountain of difficulties for you to climb and conquer. External factors are almost always never in your control. As easy as it is to blame them, it is utterly useless! Factors that are in your control are within yourself. Controlling them is the toughest part as that would mean holding yourself responsible for your own actions. (after all its always easier to blame others!!!)Dealing with a regret that you would've been something which you are currently not, only because you gave up, is the worst feeling ever.
Usually, when you are deep in your problems, you can be sure that you are the closest to the solution. So remember, when ever you encounter a problem, don't forget to add a "NO" in front of it!
