Les parents

This is one of the most special posts for me. As I proceed with it, I am completely overwhelmed with happiness and gratitude for my loving parents. What completely amazes me, is the selflessness of their love and how my dreams became their goal. As I recollect every small thing they've done for me, I am convinced that there are a million more which I've overlooked! I may never be able to describe their sacrifices in words but this is my earnest attempt to thank Pa and Ma.


Scene 1: (year 1994)

P&M : Could you please let her play with you guys? She's too shy to ask!
Bullies : Definitely! <looks at me> Join us!
Moi : <all smiles> Thanks!

20 mins later

M : I still haven't got a chance. Can I serve?
B : Is it? Well, you'll get your turn.

Another 20 mins pass by.

 By some mysterious way, the ball evades me every damn time!

Moi : <Alright. This is humiliating! I don't wanna be an audience on the court! Wait! I can't go back home. What will I tell Pa and Ma>

I quietly make an exit to our terrace. The only place I knew, where my sobs would be unheard.

10 mins later.


P&M : What happened dear? Shouldn't you be downstairs playing with the kids?
Moi : I can't! They won't let me. That throw ball isn't mine. Nor is the court. I am never playing again.

In no time, I was a proud owner of a kick-ass throwball, which was hardly used in years to come! But what the heck.. Yeaaaa!! I had my own throwball. I didn't get my own court. But I had my own throwball! I was cool!

Years have passed by since this incident. There was a cornucopia of things - chocolates to cakes, samosas to lavish dinners, school uniform to my first pair of formals, cycle to car - I got them all. Some after a fight and many without even asking!

I was their little princess then. I am their warrior princess now! Nevertheless a princess. Being the only child, I had the word "pamper" being redefined for me.

 I have always been a night watchman. So waking up early is like going to concentration camps! Especially when one of my receptor organs is out of order (which still persists, as I don't recognize the alarm sound till date!) So I leave my last minute exam preparation to reader's imagination! Now that I've established how waking up early doesn't suit my needs, I am filled with guilt for all the lost sleep Ma had to suffer coz of moi! As if waking up is not a big task in itself, waking up a sleeping giant can scar you for life! And scar them, I did, with all my short comings.

I know for a fact that I am neither the first not the last child to think this way. We all know this deep in our hearts. We all realize how indebted yet unbelievably lucky we are, to have someone love us so selflessly. I am sure you remember their obvious presence in all parent teacher meetings, annual day functions and every special occasion of yours, while you were growing up. Now that you are all grown up, have you ever given a thought as to how to make a special day out of any normal day, for them?

Ma just walked into my room while I was writing this post. I couldn't get myself to show the post to her. I just realized that as expressive we are, we hardly emote in front of our parents. In my lifetime, I would've showered a million "I love you"'s to my fav people, but the number of times I've said the same to my parents can be counted on my finger tips! I always think, there's no need to explicitly display love, they know it! Then shouldn't that hold good for others as well? Sometimes it is very vital that you state the obvious. The gleam in their old eyes is absolutely priceless.

Ma said she was bored. I've locked myself in my room since morning. I pretty much have useless weekdays. Come back home from a place I hate going to and again lock myself in my room. Weekends are for me exclusively. I don't like sharing my time. That leaves my parents with almost zero time from me! Again I am upsurged by guilt. While I was growing up, there was never a time when I received no attention. From feeding me meals to listening to my non stop mouth-running, they've always been there!

As you read this post, I am sure it would strike a chord. For as I said earlier, even though there are a lot of mistakes to commit, all of us end up committing the same ones time and again, this being one of them. It's time to acknowledge your parents, for all that they've done. Their love, anger, never ending support and care is what makes you, whatever you are today. They've spent the prime of their life chasing your dreams with you, never giving up on you, making sacrifices which you probably do not even know off, skipping their special dinners to fund your classes, work overtime to meet your desires - the list is just too long. Acknowledge the love before its too late, for this is the purest form of love one can ever receive.

I've been thinking of writing this post for quite sometime now. The idea was encountered when Pa was dropping me off to the bus stop. It's kinda strange, in a nice way though, that two decades back Pa would drop me to my school, carrying me in his arms! Guess something's in life never change!

Sinful Delusions

When something is missing in your life and you are oblivious of its absence, then being optimistic about the whole thing, I would call this state bliss. After all ignorance is bliss! Knowing something is missing, but not knowing what it is, is excruciating. Having no missing pieces in the jigsaw puzzle of your life and still pushing yourself to thinking "there's something missing" - DELUSIONAL!

I've been in the second state for a while now! And OMG! It hurts! This brings me to the most frequently asked question - what is it, that you think is missing? Duh!! If I knew, it wouldn't be evading me for as long as it has! I personally believe that all the questions that our mind comes up with, can be answered using the same powerful mind that created it! All the answers are within in, the only thing missing is the drive to seek them. So here begins my Q/A session with the most potent tool I got:

Mind: If you don't know what is missing, then how do you know if it's missing in the first place?
 Now that is one hell of a point.
Moi: How do I know? Ehh.. hmm.. well.. Probably coz I am not satisfied with what I've!
Mind: That can well be a gratitude problem! You gotta give me more than that!
Moi: Probably coz I think I deserve more.
Mind:  What have you done to deserve it?
Moi: Well.. Why should I do everything to get something? Look around. There are millions of people living my dream. They haven't done anything to get there. Things are given to them on a silver platter. Why can't I just be lucky?

Ok.. I am gonna have to end this conversation abruptly coz when I read the above lines there's something that I've tell you guys.

It's a well known fact that half knowledge can be dangerous. Same rule applies as far as the humans are concerned. Even a lifetime is a short time to know a person. So judging someone by what they seem is highly unintelligent! So you have no rights to conceive what a person deserves and what he doesn't!

Most importantly, don't compare apples and oranges! Comparing your life with your friends can bring nothing other than a crack in your relations and a void in your life. Everyone person has to realize their own destiny. You can't chase other's dreams just coz they seem more engaging and alluring than your own. If small things in life make you happy, you need not chase the riches, just coz that's what people are "supposed" to do! Your treasure lies in what makes you happy. Don't ruin your perfect life craving for imperfections in other's lives!


Now, how is one supposed to decide if he is really happy? Great set of friends, soaring career, life's music tuned to your interest. Are you happy now? Will you still be happy if I were to reduce one from the list? How about a couple? What if I were to take away everything you ever assumed was yours, will you still say with conviction "I am a happy person!"? If the answer is no, then you were never happy, to begin with! How can you claim something to be yours when that "something" is dependent on everyone/everything else but you!

I am no saint and I don't wanna preach. I am exuberant when I am at peace with myself. I don't judge myself with a certain "market standard" of bliss. The peace within in a mixture of a lotta things - Gratitude - For what made me who I am, Aspirations - Standard I set for myself, Ability - The one's I already have and the one's I'll gain on my way. Happiness is indeed a state of mind, a bi-product of a peaceful mind.

P.S : In quest of happiness for yourself, you unravel happiness for others!

Eureka!!!

People always amused me when they said "Lemme think". This would be succeeded by a series of events - pick up a newspaper/ archies and SLAM, lock themselves in the bathroom! Kinda weird, isn't it? I did ponder upon the relation between a loo and human brain. I did come up with some pretty eldritch conclusions (which for the benefit of readers shall not be delved upon!) Coming to think of it, there is a bizarre simulation of human brain when it is relaxed! (so get the cue!)

Archimedes came up with his principle coz of his experience in the bath tub! If it works for him, it should work for me too!!!

I stomp off into the uber - clean rest room, expecting some mental stimulation! (humour, bordering sarcasm intended!)

OMG! What is wrong with these ladies! Are you praying inside??? (yaa.. no prizes for guessing – I was in queue! Aarrghhh)

Any other day I would’ve promptly excused myself from there and rush to the other place. But looking at how fantastic my day had been (sarcasm dripping), I decided to stay back! (The last thing you would wanna do is shuttle between 2 holy places!!!)

To my surprise I got my turn within seconds!!! (Sounds corny.. I know!) Now I understand why people get brain waves! Although its more circumstantial than pertaining to the place! After all you gotta do when you gotta do!!! (I am on a roll now, aren’t I?)

Now, coming back to my brainwave, which by the way, is the subject of this post. (hard to believe right?) I was acquainted with the most important virtues mankind needs to develop – PATIENCE!

I think it’s the MOST IMPORTANT VIRTUE, coz more than half of the problems which we encounter in our daily lives can be resolved by just being patient.

 Few days back, I felt really sore. My life was stagnant and I was sure as hell going nowhere. I got restless. If there’s something that I haven’t got, its gotta be the “Midas touch”, I thought!! Anything I touch wanes away to obscurity. The saying “opportunities always look bigger going, than coming” fits me to the bill!

What did I do wrong?, I ask myself.

Wasn’t I there in the right place at the right time? There is no such thing as the right time! Next reason!!

Didn’t I interact with the right people? Right people, what kind are those!!

Didn’t I do the right things? Ahaa.. Finally, now we’re talking!!

All my life, I’ve hated waiting for things. I’ve always wanted to make things happen. But, I was oblivious of how to make them happen; I had no other option but to wait. Since, I have already established how tarnished my “waiting” skills are, need I explain about the disastrous outcomes of my wait??? My impatience has done nothing but enhance a certain suicidal tendencies!!

I was just out of college, working as an Associate Software Engineer in a top class MNC. And guess what? I was already day dreaming of becoming an Executive! I happened to tell a Senior manager, I wanna be seated at the head of the table, like you are right now. I wanna play your role. Thinking about it now, it sounds so very much like ME! Highly restless, wants everything and doing nothing to get it! And finally when I decide to act on things, I lose interest! I am not willing to wait for my hard work to pay off!

The only thing that prevents me from losing hope, is that I know I am not alone! How many times has your lack of patience been the cause of any of these - you boarding a super crowded bus, having an ugly show-down with an auto driver, giving your boss a piece of your mind, receiving his piece of mind in form of your appraisals!!,losing an opportunity coz you grew tired of waiting, losing someone close to you coz you gave up on them a little too early.

Remember all you restless souls – Patience and time are the two most powerful weapons! Infinite patience brings immediate results.

P.S : “Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience.” (ripped it off the internet!)

La belle femme

The foundation of society is based on one strong factor - HYPOCRISY. Anyone accepting this, well, is already an outcast! Anyone denying this can be considered brain dead. (Literally!)  I have the good fortune of interacting with a lot of these zombies on a day to day basis. (Imagine my excitement! aargghh) Most of the interactions have caused friction, which I tend to ignore, owing to my principle in life - 

"Never argue with idiots. They bring you down to their level and beat you with their experience!"

One look at the statement brings a smile on your face. But when you delve into it, you can see the profoundness in this simple, easy-to-read sentence. If you live by this principle, you can easily eliminate most of your problems at work or even elsewhere! But you know it's time to stand up when the water surpasses your neck level. This post is about one such incident.

It was a lazy Friday afternoon when a 23 year old male colleague (not to mention – with a death wish) decided to rake up a sensitive topic. Since, I was having a blast of a day (I think I just puked!), I decided to share my “joy” (and give him more than what he asked for!)

He says, “Women who rather concentrate on their career than getting married have some serious problems! If they are “all fine” then they would have been happily married and would be taking care of their family. After all, women need not take up responsibilities. They can just tag along with their "better half". Men can handle the responsibilities.”

Ideally, I should have jolted his “nuts” right off! But as I always doubt potency of such men, my action would cause not much of harm! (Evil grin) This set of a serious argument, enough for the sick prick to shut his trap. But this also got me thinking. Who is to be blamed for such appalling notions? Is it the up-bringing? Is it the society? Is it just men, who have a sense of delusional power? Or is it the women who abdicate their position to pave way for the men?

Working in an Indian MNC has helped me understand, why we are popularly known as "bloody Indians", around the world! (Ooopppss.. this controversial statement deserves a separate post altogether! So let's take this up some other time!) Contrary to the popular belief's, MNC's are almost like a modern hub for gender discrimination! I've often wondered, what is illiteracy? Whom can we consider as illiterates? What about the well educated people whose "deeds" question the educational system? During my school times, I remember this quote being used every now and then – “men and women are equal”. But the contradiction in this statement is what I’ve witnessed while growing up. Probably that was told to the kids time and again, to instill a new thinking, in their moldable minds. Or probably it was just based on one more principle – “A lie, when told hundred times, becomes the truth!”

The kids did grow up. But how many of them actually remember what they were taught? It’s always easy to be washed out by the “herd mentality” of the society. By products of this can be seen everywhere in form of men who believe they are superior and women who have accepted their so called “inferiority”.  Men are bread winners and women are bread makers - this status has somehow leeched on! Sounds funny doesn’t it? But this “just for gags” is the hard core reality. What irks me the most is when well educated men of today are still stuck in their “ancestral era” and expect their counterparts to oblige! Please note the use of words here – there is no mention of words like fairer sex or gentler sex or any of the demeaning synonyms.

Why is it that a woman has to be judged on her external beauty or her gentleness? After all beauty lies in the eye of beholder. So if you ever wanna question a woman’s beauty, you might wanna take a good look at yourself in the mirror first, followed by a quick eye check up! Does she become appalling if she decides to go ahead and conquer the world? Aggression in not a sought after trait in a woman, is it? Defeat is not something that people can gracefully accept, more so ever if it is encountered at the hands of a woman!

I was watching a dance reality show on TV. This is what a beaming mom had to say about her daughter – “She is not my daughter. She’s my son." There were applauds and tears and blah blah. But my first reaction to these “emotional” words – WTF. It’s almost twenty years and you still haven’t realized that YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER! Not a bloody son, but a beautiful daughter. She has brought you on this stage, won accolades and she is the very reason why you are beaming right now! Yes, the reason for your pride today – DAUGHTER. A lot was said about how daughters are better than the sons, but how many of them truly believe this? If so, then why can’t you just say, “she’s made me proud. That’s my daughter,people!”  This is just one of the many incidents that I’ve come across. Guessing you have to, sometimes ignoring, sometime not caring, sometime just saying “this is how it is, nothing can be done”

One wise man had once told, “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right”. I truly believe we can make a difference. Yes, it will take time. Dumping age old trash might take another era! But it is possible.

I am a woman of today. You avoid me coz I am too aggressive for you. You judge me coz I am different. You insult me coz I stir fear in you. You are scared of me coz I have a mind of my own. You wanted to tame my soul but you pushed me to free myself. I made a choice and I am living by it, on my terms!  I am now a free spirit. Lemme remind all the beautiful ladies, I am no different from you. Time to embrace your life.

Not to forget the men, all the men who don’t believe in this – go fuck yourselves!

P.S: Wind beneath my wings, reason for my flight – my sailor.

Picture perfect

What makes your day perfect? When you find out you are in love? When your love is acknowledged and reverted? A surprise gift and a dreamy date? Receiving a hefty hike or a promotion? Having an argument free day with your boss and less work? No traffic? or finally an "out of office" and quality time with your family?

As much as we would love it, all the above are not regular occurrences! Does that mean that our day is imperfect? Does that mean that we can be happy only when a "certain checklist" is updated? For starters, lets keep everything aside and address the topic of perfection. For those who aren't aware, perfection has no "ISI" standards! (sad but true, all my fellow "perfectionists!") In fact, there are no standards when you talk about perfection. It's nothing more than a perception, purely subjective. Always remember, one man's perfection is other's mediocrity! (and there's no sane way of knowing which of the two groups you fall under!)

Coming back to the topic; a perfect day for me is where I feel I've LIVED every moment of my life in the present - not past not future but PRESENT, knowing that I've done justice to it. When I say "lived" it does not translate to being happy or being sad. Going by the face value, it means I've experienced what there was to experience, with no regrets.

Life has always been comedy of errors. An "ideal" day takes no time to transform into "hell" when you get reprimanded by your boss! Hence established - anything perfect can be brought to a state of imperfection with slight adultery! On the other hand, a "bad" day turns around to welcome a "fantabulous" one, when you receive that "special" call. Imperfect, as it may be, its enough to bring a lovely smile on your face! (also can translate into imperfection breeds happiness!)

People set exceptional goals and put forth all they've got in achieving it. But is that all life is about? Chasing your dreams and dreaming new ones, after having achieved the old ones? What ever happened to paying attention to finer details in life? No amount of money, no levels of achievement means anything unless you have someone to share it with. Nothing can substitute for time and self. It's the simple things in life that people tend to ignore, that in time, costs them more than they can ever pay! How can you think about leading a perfect life when you can't even live a perfect day???

Things that make me happy are inexpensive coz they cannot be measure in terms of money, but are extremely precious and valuable - a peck on my mum/dad's cheek before I leave for work, a nice book that helps me navigate through time (and traffic!) on my way to office, a kick ass "I won't get pissed at work" attitude, sumptuous home packed lunch with friends,  dinner with Mr "Special",binge on blue berry cheese cake, a ride back home on my "royal vehicle" (with my arms around my world), a warm hug, a "husky voice" to put me off to sleep. My life is indeed perfect!

P.S : By product of a KICK ASS day. Feel precious. Thanks Love!