One more day, I tell my tired body. It's almost mid of the week and before you know it, its time to live your life Queen style, I console myself. Come Friday, all the miseries would be swept under the rug and that stunning smile will be back on, for real. As you see when I have to console myself, I leave no stones unturned.
You know something is not right when you have to bulldoze yourself out of bed everyday, travel to what might as well be a different city, clock overtime doing something you detest, smile at people who make your blood boil.... as you see I have had a FINE day at office!
Working in a place that threatens to eat you alive? Kill me if you haven't experienced any of this for real!
1. Your faith in the saying "Don't argue with idiots, they bring you down to their level and beat you with experience" finds a new dimension of belief. Having an argument with your boss? Your colleague making you regret your birth? Breathe.. Really it works.. one way or the other! You need one long breath to collect all your strength from your core and land a punch on their nose! Kidding.. (or not!) Or just one deep breath and walk away. It's heroic. Trust me. Plus you don't want to spend a lot of time in "idiot" zone now, do you?
2. You realize you are supremely talented and your work involves pretty much 0% of it. Hmm.. lets see. I write. I sing. I brighten people's lives! (ok, the last point may be an exaggeration. Alright, the first 2 may as well be not entirely true. You get the drift!) But I am no author, singer or a shrink! (God knows, I could really use one!) What do I do instead? I take peanuts for salary and dumb myself down for 9 hours. Oh God! Forgive me, for I have sinned!
3. People come to you for career advise and end up judging you for being in the industry for as long as you have! Alright, don't judge me for my position in this God forsaken organization! If I could, I would make slaves out of some of the gems I have had good fortune working for/ with/ under ! (or not, I am against slavery, more so coz I don't appreciate sloppiness!) Live and let live bitches!
4. You watch, very painfully I might add, oscar winning performances of your managers. Ever been in the situation where you are being fed bull crap about how management cares for you? I somehow don't remember much coz in my head I am in a happy place and I am really hurting them bad! Well.. you know they have to pay right? Since making them pay in reality may end you on streets or in your parents basements, you go that happy place in your head! Now, where's my whip!
5. You watch, again if I may add, with extreme agony, the corporate suck ups climb the ladder. (or should I say air lifted!) Hmm.. I need my scalpel and scissors please. Noses to be surgically removed from asses! Oh, did I forget to mention this blog sometimes could be rated R? Read on punk!
6. Most ladies come to either only discuss family woes (kids, kins anything that involves emotions.. coz you know you are.. well.. a shrink!) or display their atrocious fashion sense. Most men come to either ogle at such bimbos or provide a pathetic excuse for a shoulder to cry upon! Now, now, don't get me wrong! There are people who diligently work, but this post is to honor them, by not discussing their boring, unappreciated life!
7. Your spouse finds the need to be paid for the extra hours he/ she chalks out from his/ her busy schedule. It's like providing you the local anesthesia that will push you through the day, only to find the pain raging its ugly head within a matter of 24 hours! (Baby, I love you and thanks for all your advise that has kept people alive and away from my fury. High time you start billing my company!)
8. Employers think the job is given as a favor to you like they ran out of change when they caught you begging in the middle of nowhere and gave you a job instead of loose change! So working overtime or weekends is expressing gratitude to their unworthy positions! So put your personal lives out of the window and well.. umm.. bend over? (Rated R remember?)
9. Indians don't believe in making mistakes. No, don't get me wrong. They make loads of them! But they just don't believe in accepting them as much as they believe in covering them. Everyone is given one chance to make a mistake. After that people catch you by your hands/ legs/ balls/ whatever and train you to cover them up. You know, like how you train your dog to cover up its poop.. wait.. don't you? I won't know, I am a cat person!
10. Threaten to quit! Last and most definitely the most lethal - you want something that you actually deserve but isn't been given to you coz of well.. your inefficiency in ass kissing? Threaten to quit! No, you won't quote me on this. I have been a silent witness of this chess move and I know it kicks ass. But if you have an iota of self esteem, you would steer clear of it.
Phew, boulders off my chest! As you have guess by now - just another day in my life. Put me through misery or put me through joy, the writer in me promptly stands up and says "Ahoy"!
You know something is not right when you have to bulldoze yourself out of bed everyday, travel to what might as well be a different city, clock overtime doing something you detest, smile at people who make your blood boil.... as you see I have had a FINE day at office!
Working in a place that threatens to eat you alive? Kill me if you haven't experienced any of this for real!
1. Your faith in the saying "Don't argue with idiots, they bring you down to their level and beat you with experience" finds a new dimension of belief. Having an argument with your boss? Your colleague making you regret your birth? Breathe.. Really it works.. one way or the other! You need one long breath to collect all your strength from your core and land a punch on their nose! Kidding.. (or not!) Or just one deep breath and walk away. It's heroic. Trust me. Plus you don't want to spend a lot of time in "idiot" zone now, do you?
2. You realize you are supremely talented and your work involves pretty much 0% of it. Hmm.. lets see. I write. I sing. I brighten people's lives! (ok, the last point may be an exaggeration. Alright, the first 2 may as well be not entirely true. You get the drift!) But I am no author, singer or a shrink! (God knows, I could really use one!) What do I do instead? I take peanuts for salary and dumb myself down for 9 hours. Oh God! Forgive me, for I have sinned!
3. People come to you for career advise and end up judging you for being in the industry for as long as you have! Alright, don't judge me for my position in this God forsaken organization! If I could, I would make slaves out of some of the gems I have had good fortune working for/ with/ under ! (or not, I am against slavery, more so coz I don't appreciate sloppiness!) Live and let live bitches!
4. You watch, very painfully I might add, oscar winning performances of your managers. Ever been in the situation where you are being fed bull crap about how management cares for you? I somehow don't remember much coz in my head I am in a happy place and I am really hurting them bad! Well.. you know they have to pay right? Since making them pay in reality may end you on streets or in your parents basements, you go that happy place in your head! Now, where's my whip!
5. You watch, again if I may add, with extreme agony, the corporate suck ups climb the ladder. (or should I say air lifted!) Hmm.. I need my scalpel and scissors please. Noses to be surgically removed from asses! Oh, did I forget to mention this blog sometimes could be rated R? Read on punk!
6. Most ladies come to either only discuss family woes (kids, kins anything that involves emotions.. coz you know you are.. well.. a shrink!) or display their atrocious fashion sense. Most men come to either ogle at such bimbos or provide a pathetic excuse for a shoulder to cry upon! Now, now, don't get me wrong! There are people who diligently work, but this post is to honor them, by not discussing their boring, unappreciated life!
7. Your spouse finds the need to be paid for the extra hours he/ she chalks out from his/ her busy schedule. It's like providing you the local anesthesia that will push you through the day, only to find the pain raging its ugly head within a matter of 24 hours! (Baby, I love you and thanks for all your advise that has kept people alive and away from my fury. High time you start billing my company!)
8. Employers think the job is given as a favor to you like they ran out of change when they caught you begging in the middle of nowhere and gave you a job instead of loose change! So working overtime or weekends is expressing gratitude to their unworthy positions! So put your personal lives out of the window and well.. umm.. bend over? (Rated R remember?)
9. Indians don't believe in making mistakes. No, don't get me wrong. They make loads of them! But they just don't believe in accepting them as much as they believe in covering them. Everyone is given one chance to make a mistake. After that people catch you by your hands/ legs/ balls/ whatever and train you to cover them up. You know, like how you train your dog to cover up its poop.. wait.. don't you? I won't know, I am a cat person!
10. Threaten to quit! Last and most definitely the most lethal - you want something that you actually deserve but isn't been given to you coz of well.. your inefficiency in ass kissing? Threaten to quit! No, you won't quote me on this. I have been a silent witness of this chess move and I know it kicks ass. But if you have an iota of self esteem, you would steer clear of it.
Phew, boulders off my chest! As you have guess by now - just another day in my life. Put me through misery or put me through joy, the writer in me promptly stands up and says "Ahoy"!
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