Earthling!!

There are certain people in our lives who quite frankly are a pain in the arse! They correct your speech, improvise you language, point your flaws at ever single opportunity. They bitch about you IN YOUR FACE. Even better, talk about the same behind your back. They yell at you when you don't take care of their belongings and yell even more when you do. They put you through long chats (audio/visual) telling you what a big dumb-ass you are. They question your reasoning, doubt your decisions, criticize your every move!

They think you are annoying and crazy enough to push their buttons! Every action of yours is termed as childish by them. They blast you for showing them the mirror, expect the world out of you but throw water on all your expectations. They think you are not cool enough to be their friend but eventually come crashing on you coz.. hmm.. cozz.. well.. quite frankly they have nobody else to crash upon! (ouchh.. did that hurt???)

I know you are reading this.. I bloody well know you are. Yes you.. i mean YOU! I just got off the phone with you and you made me swear not to rip any of your patented dialogues and post them on my blog! Well.. ha ha on you.. they are not worth being made fun of here! I know you are offended now. But you know what?? You drive almost as well as I do! I know that will keep your ego boosted for a while. So lemme continue with the post.

So.. where was I? Ya.. those certain people. They give more importance to a child who just "happened" to be there on their special day and turn a blinds eye on you, when you've left a zillion important things just to make it there! (I am still annoyed F.Y.I) To make matters worse, they donate your soft toys to the very same child! (who by the way I am gonna torture the next time I meet!)

They think I am a lunatic. Probably they are right! Yes.. YOU.. you are right. Every time I think I need someone sane to talk to, I think of the most insane, egotistic, self-centered, "solid" earthling. (Ha ha my sweet revenge..)

I really don't know.. what is it about these people that makes you wanna kill them when they are around and makes you wanna kill yourself for not having them around? I have a lot of such cases in my list, but I don't know why YOU top it. Nopes.. I am not praising you, I think you are plain high headed. But then again.. what a pretty head! The same head I would like to chop every time YOU open that mouth and speak with such command that now, I wanna let go off your head and pull your tongue for speaking better than moi!

For all of you who've come this far in the post, I am trying to describe my love-hate relationship here! I might have confused you, but trust me if you knew the person I am taking about then I would probably be the hero you all aspire to be!

So we are back to YOU. Waiting for a compliment huh? You should've thought of that before you interrupted my movie time. For all the Jurassic Parks, Mummy returns and Hangovers you have cost me telling you are worth it, well.. you are not! YOU are worth a lot more! Ya.. a person(calling you this for lack of better words) who made me realize I've principles (and strong ones that too!!), YOU are worth more than you can imagine.  Not like I needed you to show me I had a spine, you know! Lemme tell you one thing, for a person who claims to have half a back, you have the strongest spine ever! Alas, you mental ability is inversely proportional to the strength of you spine! Oh.. did I mention you are a great driver!

And your jokes.. what is with them? Seriously Earthling, small fish being eaten by a bigger fish NOT FUNNY! But you reciting it like a poem and anticipating an uproar of laughter FUNNY. Your mom not remembering my first name not appreciated, the reputation you have earned coz me.. APPLAUDS! (I stand up, gentle bow!)

Keeping the length of this post in check, I am gonna have to create volumes of this post!

Before you book your ticket for the first flight back lemme tell you, as in YOU are really precious. For all the scenes you have created, I have loved playing a part. For all the names you have given me, I somehow can't get enough. For all the lectures you've unleashed on me, with ringing ear drums, I can listen to them till the end of the world (which I am hoping is soon!). For all the times you have turned the world against me and jumped by my side to take me through, I could crush you with a "gentle" hug! For proving to me that beauty can turn into a beast in the photos and making me feel beautiful every single moment. Thanks for introducing and re-introducing me to myself every time I lost track. YOU are the kinda trouble I would like to be a part off (see.. I've better lines to rip off than yours).

P.S: To be read midst of your assignments.. and wait.. almost forgot.. love you loads Earthling!

Used and thrown

I slogged my ass off last weekend, driving from one electronic store to other, haggling at every given opportunity and working harder to create more opportunities! Believe you me, when I tell you this - if you want to see a perfect example of human nature you ought to divert your attention to salesmen. Seriously, I mean it, with all due to respect to them, for all they are doing or at least attempting to do is be true to their job!

Have you ever noticed that broad smile on the faces of these salesmen when you make a grand entry into their stores? Even better, have you noticed the width of their smile reducing exponentially as the time you spend there increases? Here's the best, have you noticed how they personify a soldier at war front when faced with challenges of any sort regarding the quality/pricing of their commodities?

"This is the best price ma'am. You can check the entire market but you wont find any offer this reasonable"
Just when you go like.. uummmm.. hmmm... BANG! comes the most historic of all dialogues.. infact the mother of them all..
"If you find a similar product cheaper than this in any store I'll give you thrice the difference amount!"

Lemme tell you one thing with full conviction, THEY DON'T!

Anyways this post is not to be bitchy about their breed, coz after all they're human beings displaying perfect human behavior! Even though we were not born this way, over time we have transformed into people who live only for themselves. I always say that one has to live for oneself. Agreed. But not by stepping on others or by using the philosophy "Use and throw".

I have a very simple example to exhibit this behavior. Few years flashback.


Oh God!! Please ensure I pass in this exam! I promise.. like PROMISE you I'll try harder next time and pass on my own. Just this one time.. pleeeeeassseee!!

Once the results are out, so is God or even a slightest feeling of thanking God!!! (Till the next exam i.e!!!)

 Strikes a chord??? If it did not then picture me with my index finger pointing at your nose and saying STOP LYING!!!

So I guess I've established how the human behavior changes with every passing moment and not for the good if I might add! In my short life time I have met only a handful people who genuinely care. While few notice and appreciate this, the others just turn a blinds eye to them, continuing with their cynical way of life. A smile is no longer considered as an introduction or induction of a new relation. It is a gateway to a relation based on tangible things. I am not saying give and take relation is wrong. Nothing in the world is right or wrong, just the perspective. But wouldn't it be better if there is a give and take of intangible things like honesty and sincerity.

You all know by now how corporate culture repulses me. Not coz of the kinda work but coz of how people treat each other. If smiling extra is gonna earn you something, you smile like you are growing younger by every passing minute! If getting your head in your boss's ass is gonna get you a promotion, you hold your breath and retain the position till the end of this world! It's more like an epidemic. It starts with a few rotten fruits and before you know the whole basket it stinking! If you are one of those rotten fruits, I am not saying you are right or wrong. Ya, I might ask you to maintain a 100 feet distance to avoid my physical assault on you! As more and more people get into the IN thing, the so called "ideal" world blurs.

Change is inevitable does not convert to change is for bad! Life may not be ideal but if you are cynical there will be nothing alive! Just mechanical actions and reaction. If you wanna extract the most out of someone, don't forget that you are the "someone", sometime in the game. Remember the good and don't ever doubt your capacity of giving it back. Smile like the world depends on it. Recognize goodness before it escapes out of the window. If you ever tend to stumble upon a good fruit, please don't force it into the basket. Let it spread its pleasantness outside without being eaten or rotten!

P.S : Use and throw to be used and thrown!!!

Dark Night

During one of our soft skill training's we were asked to do an activity involving two people. They were made to stand one behind the other maintaining an arms distance between them. The person in front was to stand cross armed, close their eyes and fall back on their partners without taking any support, in any form, from her/his body. This includes no bending of knees, no letting go of our cross armed positions. Just falling backwards with our eyes closed. The exercise might sound simple as hell. But when it was my turn, just one look at the fragile girl who was taking her position to hold me as I fall, was enough to give me goosebumps. I thought, falling is embarrassing and when there is an audience embarrassment increases tenfold!! I failed in the first few attempts. Wanting to get done with the fiasco I decided to close my eye and take the plunge, backwards!!! As frail as the girl looked she could balance me! Moral of the story - you are never as fat as you think you are!!! <winks!>

The experience was done and dusted. Its only till recently did I realize the actual motive of it when I encountered a similar exercise in a book by Dr Joseph Murphy. Eyes are windows to the world. But it's been established time and again that what you see, cannot be believed. A perfect example of this would be Lady Justice. She has always been shown with a blindfold. This signifies an objective approach to things. In a mystical representation I can say there's always something more to things that what we see. So seeing is not believing. Coz more often than not, we see what we want to. We see fear coz we are scared of losing, we see failure coz we can't define success, we see pain, for we fear happiness would be short lived, we refuse love for the fear of losing it.

When you close you eyes, you shut yourself from the outside world. A perfect example would be the typical ghost scare all of us experienced as children. What did you do when you thought there was a ghost lurking in the corner of your room or under your bed? Most of us pulled up the sheets, covered our face, shut our eyes real tight so that no ghost could open them, even if he were to use all his might and prayed ourselves to sleep!!! Only to find ourselves unharmed the next day!

Now, coming back to the motive of the exercise. If we had kept our eyes open during the "fall" there would be a lotta doubts knocking our little brains. "What if I fall?", "I am gotta get laughed at royally!!!", "Why the hell am I doing this???" and blah blah. Even half a thought of such kind is enough for a person to say "I am not going ahead with this! This is lame!". This exercise is not about seeing how good are you at falling or how the other person excels in holding you just before you crack your skull. This is about building trust. Shutting your eyes to all your apprehensions, pushing your fears aside and embracing a world where, quite frankly you don't have a lot of say! Most importantly, trusting the fact that you are gonna be safe in that unknown kingdom.

In the so called "Kaliyug" trust is almost extinct. I guess that is one of the root causes of the downfall staring the society in its face! Since I have never been a "society person" I am not gonna expound on that topic anymore. But on a personal level, I truly believe that trust can do more than a lot of virtues put together. When you truly believe that there is a guiding force by your side and you acknowledge it, you cannot be harmed.

This concept has been beautifully explained under the name "Dark Night" in the book I am currently reading. A very apt name as generally dark is associated with evil. Hence, the not so appeasing side of humans is the "dark side". After every night comes a day, they say, hinting that night symbolizes all that's wrong with the world. But if you are able to understand the essence of dark night, you will be able to push through dark nights in your life with a faith that they will fade away leaving you stronger and teaching you skills required to lead a better life. Face the dark with the light of faith.

P.S : Recommendations - Brida by Paulo Coelho 

Matrimonial bollocks

Marriages are made in heaven. BOLLOCKS!! As far as I am concerned marriages are made on this God damned earth by jobless old people who's only aim in life is to get everyone in the world married!
"Oh!! Your daughter is almost on the verge of finishing her college. Have you thought of getting her married?" No bitch. But I guess you can do with a second one to savor your appetite!

"Your daughter is done with her college. She's landed a job! Start looking for a suitable match." Match? You think anyone can match me? Guess you donated your brain when you opened a marriage bureau!

"She's getting old. Get her married." I mean like, FUCK OFF! I can nail any one I want 20 years from now. You think about the sorry excuse called your life!!

Make no mistake about this one. I am not narrating my story. This is the common and most standard observation! Indian society runs on the strong foundation of "Your business is my business." But sadly for people who live their life by this principle, there are a lot of GenX free spirits who would like to spit on your faces but still let you have an opinion. Not coz they think you are right. But coz they believe that opinions are like ass holes, every ones gotta have one! (This line is truly an epic.. bless the soul who came up with it!!)

"Progressive society" is an illusion. "Women empowerment" is a joke. I don't wanna sound offensive but this is the truth. How can you call a society progressive if women are judged by their most personal choices? No eyebrows are raised when a man decides to settle down late. He was concentrating on his career. Such a wise move, they say. Maintain the same situation, change the gender and check out for the offensive reactions. It's a bad move. How can she put her career before her family? they say. So I guess I need not explain as to why the so called "woman empowerment" goes down the drain.

I guess once you are over 50 and you see a young spirit, happy, smiling, full of life you get diabolic and think, "So much happiness? What has she done to deserve it? I never lived like that. Why should she? Lets curb her freedom!" I could almost swear these are the actual thoughts running behind all the "aunties" roaming your streets and patting your cheeks in every function they run into you! At this point I can't decide what should scare me more - a cockroach looking at me with its antennas raised or this evil thoughts running in ultra narrow minds!

It is a given, that anybody who doesn't live by the society rules is an outcast. An unmarried woman above 30 is looked at with suspicious eyes.

"Wonder why she is still single.", "Oh dear God! Her poor parents! What has she put them through?","How will she have kids if she doesn't get married!" And the all time favorite line of society - "There must be something wrong with her."

You know what, you repulsive dweebs she's single coz she loves it that way. She rather put her parents through few more years of wait than ruin her life, in turn causing them irreparable damage. And guess they changed the syllabus when we were studying. Coz from what I read in my books, marriage has nothing to do with "starting a family". (yeah.. an uppercut punch ass holes.. IN YOUR FACE!) Finally, yes there is something wrong with her. Something, that given your intellect, is far from your comprehension. She wants to live, she wants to breathe, she wants to fight her own battles. She needs no one to protect her, she wants to own whatever she does. She knows her power and wants to use it. She doesn't mean to offend anyone but she would fight any cause that dares to capture her soul for she knows losing her life is easier than losing her free spirit.

P.S : There is no crime more hideous than caging a free spirit.

Poxed out!!

As you know by now, I was down with chicken pox few weeks earlier. I've spoken lengths about how I "braved" the disease! But I guess for how much I have learnt in these few weeks, I need to be thankful that I experienced what I did. It taught me the importance of spreading joy. (Don't cringe! You'll love the story ahead. You got my word on that!!)

For the record, I hate sharing. My things are my own and if people have a problem with it, then, well, it would be best if they were to keep it to themselves! So now that I've established that "giving" is not something that comes naturally to me, lemme tell you about this incident where, for the first time I felt the "joy of giving".

After almost two weeks of peace at home, I squirm at the very thought of going to office. After all I "love" that place! (I guess I just puked a little in my mouth!) So with a heavy heart, I step out of the elevator. An invisible tear dripped across my cheek. People greeted me with what seemed like a mixture of shock and fear. Shock looking at my beauty and fear coz they thought their immune system was next! I almost felt like the Naga from Immortals of Meluha!

I sat on my chair. This kinda symbolizes setting sun. Dreading the amount of work that had piled up and getting repulsed at the every thought of interacting with dim-wits I stared blankly at my system. I think if there's anyone who understands me in office, it has to be my comp. It takes ages to switch on and another set of ages to get the applications running at a normal speed. Probably it's trying to keep me away from misery. Poor junk box. I always knew they had feelings!

"You think you know me.. <heavy metal> On this day, I see clearly.. everything has come to life......" Ya people.. that's my ringtone.KICK-ASS! I love it, every time my phone rings! It's a feeling of pure joy! I retrieve my cell from my pant pocket very easily (it's called weight loss people!) and stare with utter disgust at the name displayed. What now?, I think.

"Hello.... ya, I am in office...ya, I am ok... what?? really??.. REALLY?? <I sprang up from the chair and look at Shrulee muttering under my breath>....ohh.. that's sad.. <shrulee and gang have a look of shocked excitement on their faces> but wait.. REALLY??.. <excitement has spread far beyond and broad smile spread over peoples faces> hang on REALLLLLLYYY??? <No Shubha.. your not giggling into the man's ears! That's inhuman>but I thought you had it as a kid....  <cover the mouth piece and laugh loudly.. what the heck.. i am no human!!>  You should take rest.... I'll manage here..<ouch.. my ribs hurt.. how I love this sweet pain of laughter!>

If you are still wondering what was the conversation all about, then I am gonna tell you nothing but the summary. It's 10:30 in the night and I laugh real loud. So not wanting to scare my neighbors, I'll directly jump to the jist. I had spread the joy of chicken pox!!!! <you wont believe how wonderful and complete this smile I am wearing on my face looks> Unintentionally, unknowingly I had given a lot of people reason to smile!! To all my friends, who think I am a reincarnation of evil, there you go, I proved you right. And to the others, well..., ummm.. I guess there's justice in nature after all!

More than anything, I was flabbergasted by the reactions of the wonderful people around me.

"You finally took your revenge"

"Are you serious? I owe you biiiig time!"

"This is the best thing you've ever done!"

And this by far is my personal favorite. "Hey could you go sit next to my boss for a while??"

With all that attention, I feel like I could be used as a potent biological weapon! <Hope USA doesn't find me!>

All jokes aside, I firmly believe that if you laugh at someone's misery and are malicious about it, your good times take few more steps towards bidding you good bye. So lemme clear one thing for all of you. I am not ridiculing the fact that "transition" had happened so smoothly. But what I find extremely hilarious is how life bites you real hard in the butt when you least expect it and ensures you are standing all throughout your humiliation. (you can't sit, with the bite on your butt!!!!)

So all I can say is, be good, do good, eat healthy, keep your immune systems strong, respect all diseases enough to not let them enter your body and most importantly stay away from me!

P.S : I celebrate my one month anniversary of the pox today! 

Pa

Oh my God!, When will he start treating me like a grown up?, I thought. I am sick of being looked after every single time. I wanna make my own mistakes and learn from them. I wanna experience it all. He doesn't let me make any! I should get out of here!

And get out of there, I did. Few months later.

Doc: You need to get an MRI. Let's see what's actually causing the pain.

What? MRI? Sounds cool, no doubt about it. But I don't even know what it stands for! And look at that monster of a machine! It's gonna gobble me up. I am not sleeping my way into its big mouth! No way. I mean NO WAY! I was alone and not to mention shit scared! I just wanted to do one thing.

"Hello, Pa. How are you?", I mumbled.
"Good. Are you fine? Why did you call at this time?"

Yup.. 10 am is not the time I called my mom, let alone dad!

"I am fine", I lied. I might as well have been shitting bricks! "Just felt like talking!" Again lying. I just wanted to hear his voice. A man who's guarded me against everything - from a mosquito bite (oh ya!) to anything remotely painful! The very same thing that I detested or should I say in my words "wanted to experience".

As it's said, be careful what you wish for, you might actually get it! And get it, I did. Almost like a deluge! And I realized, I probably wasn't strong enough to take it all! I wanted to be protected again. I wanted all the pain to be vanish, as if it never existed. I wanted to go back to the guarded castle and never step out!

He's redefined unconditional love for me. Thinking about it, my life is closed to being jeopardized! All I can say to any guy who claims to wanna share his life with me, "Can you beat that, sucker!" Answer is ever so obvious. A big bold upper-case NO!

Even though I haven't been blessed with his height or weight *sob sob* (all of you who've seen dad know why the weight matters as much as it does!!), he's instilled in me values and principles which I am more than proud to flaunt! For a man, who's entire life revolved around walking the talk, this is a great achievement!

I've tried to ape him ever since I was a little girl. Whether it is the way he holds a ball-point pen or his crystal clear handwriting or his impeccable English or his crisp manners or his passion for knowledge or simply his perfection. Years have passed. I still hold the pen like a 10 year old, write like a 13 year old, refer to oxford dictionary for every other word, think of learning something new only when a sword dangles over my head and believe in imperfection is perfection! I short, aping hasn't got me where I wanted to be! But if what you wanna become is as epic as him, just trying should get you brownie points!

"I take this work as a part of my life. I need to do this as I do everything else in my life." he says. No, I am not talking about his office work. This work comprises of just helping out at home when the maid decides to take her quota of non-existent holidays! Without any complains or bickering, he does what he's supposed to! (I remember asking mom for 100 bucks a month to do this work, a decade and a half back!!) If I were to show this behavior at my work place, apart from giving few people massive heart attacks, I would be going places! (At his point, I think of what I do and shake my head. Sorry Pa, not gonna apply it here!!)

It's kinda strange how we can yap for hours together to our mommies, while a call with our dads last for a few seconds (on a good day probably a couple of minutes!) In time, moms become our best friends and secret-keepers, while dads remain a rock you can bank upon. May not be true in all cases, but according to the survey I conducted, holds good for most!

I am super glad to say, after all this time I can successfully have a conversation with dad for a long long time, multiple times a day, discuss about hot men (Oh yeah baby!) and also about the not-so-hot-ones who need to be showed a way out of my life! I really have no idea what took me this long to find a friend in this fantastic man. (I get to talk boys with Pa, he's a friend alright!!!)

As he celebrates his 60 plus 2 birthday today, I am looking at a man, who easily looks a decade younger, praying with all my heart I have got his genes of aging gracefully and looking younger no matter what!! So here's wishing many more years of youth and loads of love to the youngest 62 year old I've ever come across. Love you Pa! 

Love love love

She wished for him on full moon nights. She did every little thing to be in his good books. She opened her inbox hoping to get a mail from him. She slept with her phone next to her ears not wanting to miss his calls even when the night was dead. She dreamt of him, she spoke of him, whatever she did was connected to him at some level or the other. She looked at him with her puppy dog eyes, in midst of all the blushing. She hoped one day he would return her look and hopefully even return the feeling. In short, she loved him. He didn't love her. That didn't stop her from revolving her entire life around him. Pure, innocent love.

Years passed. The bond just strengthened. She loved him more than ever. Winds of change had changed their course. The guys heart begins to beat for her. A feeling that he had never experienced before, a feeling that scared the living day lights out of him. He snubbed the feelings. "You are too good for me", he said. But she didn't give up. She should have. I definitely would've!! She believed in heart of hearts, they were meant to be.

Time flew by. He was a fine young man. She was a tender girl. "You are too good for me", he said. Something inside her broke. Something which probably would never be fixed. She moved away. She let go. If it is meant to be, it will. There was a hole drilled in her heart. The hope in her heart leaked out a little from it. Little bit every passing day.

Life does work in mysterious way. It brought them face to face. Confrontation wasn't easy for a guy who's heart was frozen in time and the girl who's heart was locked. They were perfect for one another. Forces of nature bought them together. Such is the strength of plea of love.

First time in life they experienced happiness. They smiled, they laughed, they held hands and went on romantic walks. They looked into each others eyes, thankful that they happened.

"I wanna spend my life with you. That's the only dream I've ever had", she said.
"I want the same love. But we have to wait. My dreams await me. I need to fulfill them", he said

For the first time she realized, probably she was never his dream. She wasn't even a part of it. Tears rolled down her cheek. "It's ok", she said. "I am gonna be there for him. Probably one day I'll be a part of his dream"

The guy starts chasing his dreams. Every step he takes, the dreams evade him further.

"It's all gonna be ok honey. I am there for you" she said.

Few years pass by. The dream remains unfulfilled.


"I wanna realize your dream with you. ", she said.
"My dreams are my own. I need to realize them.", he said
"Let me be a part of it. Lets realize your dreams together. Please take me with you", she said

She didn't get an answer.Silence tore her apart. Probably she should have got the cue. But she shrugged it off. Hole in her heart grew bigger dispersing more hope. "Things will get better, I hope", she thought.

Years later.
"Don't make me chose between my dreams and you. You are not gonna like the answer", he said. "I am doing this for us. Don't stifle me. This is how its gonna be. The choice is yours. Stay if you want to".

There was no hole. Just a broken heart. All the hope had escaped leaving a shadow of a girl she used to be.

Few months later:
"I know it's too early and I don't know much about you. But I would like to spend my entire life knowing you and loving you the way only I can. You are the dream I want to realize, you are the life I wanna live. Just give me a chance and I'll make sure your smile shines brighter than the sun", he said

It had been months since the guy left her broken. For years she had loved the guy only to have a dream chosen over her. This was her chance to break free. This was a chance with a man who probably wasn't who she desired. He wasn't a man of her dreams, but he was a man who would realize her dream. Nursing a broken heart is easier if you have someone to nurse it with you.

She looked back once and for the last time. There he stood, the guy of her dreams. Hoping she would wait for him, but not letting her be a part of his dream ; claiming he loved her but not holding her hand. Tears rolled down her cheek, for what could have been and what was. "Good bye my love", she said.

The man took her hand ; a hold that signified love, a hold of support. She looked at the ring on her finger - birth of a new relation and a seal on the old one. A step ahead into a new life, a step towards mending a broken heart, a step that would change her life forever. Some stories have to end for new ones to begin.

More often than not love and loved ones are taken for granted. They understand what I am going through, you think. But is that always the case? Is that how responsible you can get while handling something that fragile? Why does it always have to be a choice between your loved ones and your dream? Can't they go hand in hand? It's always lonely at the top. Any amount of success, stature, money is nothing if you don't have someone to share it with. Any dream that's built on broken relations and hurting hearts cannot sustain for a long time. And when it does come down shattering, you don't have anyone to support you through it.

I am no love guru but I can say this with utmost conviction - finding love is tough. If you have not found it, then make sure you don't blow it away when it finds you. If you've found it then hold on to it. No dream is worth living if you have no one to live it with for love elevates you to where you belong.

P.S : For all those who have found their soul mates, I've just 3 words for you - MAKE IT WORK!

One down

It's been a year since I got off a fantastic roller coaster ride. A ride that lasted 3 years 3 months. A ride that left my teeth cluttering in cold but also introduced me to lovely people who managed to keep me warm for as long as they did. A ride where I learnt that show biz is not restricted to the big screen or TV! Nevertheless a ride which was supposed to shape my career but ended up shaping my life instead!


A year back, I had had enough, or so I thought! Politics was not for me, master manipulator is what I could never become, I couldn't find my foot hold in the show biz, in short the IT culture didn't suit my personality. Its said, When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. So I decided to go and I mean just go, no regard to the future, no thought about the ramifications of the decision I was about to take. I just wanted to run away from where I was stuck. So as you can see I had successfully misinterpreted the saying!


With no action plan, I set off. My only aim in life was to seek happiness and find that one thing which I could finally convert into my passion. These are a few profound words that I would love to abide by! But its easier said than done. When you are on the way to find your destiny, there are several distractions - some necessary some unwanted and some plain luring evil! Money, fame, society come under the last category. Not surprisingly this category has a great power of attraction, probably even greater than gravity!Once you get caught up in this attraction field, your downhill journey begins. Downhill, coz its easy - bloody damn easy. One loose pebble that you step on increases the rate of your journey. Guess that's why most people fall under this category coz its so damn effortless.The only decision to be made when one reaches the foot of the hill is whether to remain there or to climb the way back to the top.

One year later, it would be far from truth if I were to say I've found my passion! I am still surrounded by "budding ministers" and people with shocking intellectual levels (please note the sarcasm!). Whether my decision was right or wrong, I would never know. But what I do know is it helps to not plan every living breath of your life! Decisions involving less of your brains can often get you to places where you have wanted to be, doing things you have always dreamt of doing. So in short shut your brains off!!

P.S: Special thanks to my Sailor,Babe of my life, Hot @$$ and Poosh for lending me their brains while mine was shut down!