La peur

Have you experienced this phenomenon of not liking things that you already have? If yes then Congrats! you are normal! Keeping the normalcy aside, this is the time somebody educated you that you don't always get what you like. If you whine about your current possessions they will sprout wings and fly away from you in no time and leave you with a lot more to cry for!

The feeling of not liking what we currently do or have, can be attributed to fear - the fear of not being able to do what is required to get where we want to, drives us into accepting that we dont like what we do. In this way we can always attribute this as a reason for screwing up things. "I don't care" "This doesn't matter to me". As always easier to run, even though you are a terrible athlete!

Fear is a driving factor. While some take it in their stride and change their course of life for good, the others (read most of them) get bogged down by the very magnitude of it. What are we scared off?

• We fear what we don't know - Fear of the unknown
• We fear what we can't explain - Fear of the inexplicable
• We fear what we can't see - Fear of the dark
• We fear what we can't do - Fear of gutlessness
• We fear the consequences - Fear of the outcome
• We fear we won't be accepted - Fear of rejection
• We fear being alone - Fear of loneliness

And these are just a few that I had pull out from top of my head. I am sure this list can increase at a deadly pace if you give it more thought! 

A wise man had once told me, "all fears that cripple us, have a history which most of us have long forgotten.The minuscule incident which has been erased from our memory now, once looked larger than life, leaving behind only the feeling it had initially bought about!"

Fear of the dark was born when we were kids and were told that "ghosts" lurk in the dark! Fear of rejection raised its ugly head when we were ousted from a "cool" gang. Fear of loneliness gripped us when we assumed the whole world is against us! Phew.. these were just a few fine examples.. if you think about it, all your fears can be traced back to something small that happened long ago. Some of us may not even remember the incident but what we do remember is the feeling.

Now look back at the list of fears. How can you fear something that you don't even know off? For every possibility of its existence, there's a possibility of it being "non-existent". Every thing in the world is aptly placed where it should be. For reasons that are highly subjective, we can't find reasons to why things are, the way they usually are. Which by the way, is pretty ok. There's nothing wrong in seeking answers. But be prepared that the answers may not be framed the way you would expect them to be. You may not understand them which by no means is a reason to fear them!

People fear the dark. But darkness can also symbolize infinite possibilities which choose to appear when you decide to light your own way. Darkness may as well represent a million hidden opportunities! Doesn't look that scary now, does it? There is a saying, "Whether you think you can or you can't, you are right." From where I see it, you can do whatever you wanna do. There is nothing and I mean absolutely NOTHING that you wanna do and you can't.

A lot of us lose the battle even before we start. Why? coz we've already programmed our minds for a loss. If you get into a battle doubting you'll be anywhere but on the winning side, why fight the battle in the first place? Results are important. What's more important, is believing they would be in your favor.

Finally, we crave for acceptance. Being accepted is a very warm feeling. But rejecting yourself whilst seeking acceptance from the world is a sin! One who doesn't accept himself can be assured that he'll receive rejection from the world. Being alone is not bad, sometimes it is very much required. Don't paint a sorry picture of yourself coz that ain't no modern art and it will most definitely not be appreciated!

Revisit all your fears and see exactly how many of them are worth hanging on to. If the count is not zero, continue to revisit them until it finally reaches nil! ( Unless you fear roaches and crocodiles, all you fears are unjustified!) Fear has a great appetite. It feeds on your vitality until there's nothing left! And if you really wanna be fed on you have better options!

Anything done with all your heart brings you success, whether its a heartfelt status on FB fetching a million "likes" or a task you are hell bent on getting done as a part of your personal achievement! And fear has no place here. 

Life can be tough at times. It gives everyone a fair share of fears. Its only when you rise above it and say the most liberating statement ever - "I fear nothing!", you find avenues of success. Finally remember one thing, "If you fear life and think it is not fair, you are a racist!"

P.S: Merci my Sailor. With your thoughts and my words, we'll sail forever..

Crab it!

"If I am going down, I am taking you with me."

"How can he reach the stars when this ground is almost about to suck me in?"

"I wish he fails" and many more to the similar effect.

Atleast at some point in time all of us have used similar dialogues and with intensity that can scare the shit out of mankind! Success is very sweet as long as it belongs to us. If it were holding somebody else's hand we would be looking for a razor sharp sword, all set to chop the hand off! Most of us grew up envying the first ranker in the class and making him the butt of all the jokes, while secretly wishing we could have his scores! Enter college, all of us aspired to be the soccer champion/ cricketing god or the beauty queen. When that didn't happen the reigning champs were made the center of negativity! Well.. I won't lie to you, some of them deserved it!! (Yes.. I am more beautiful than you can ever be and as for you,back off suckers!!) Phew.. that feels great! Anyways, back to the topic!

More than half our lives are spent in finding faults in others and zeroing down on reasons as to why they don't deserve to be where they are right now. That very precious time can be used to get yourself to where you think you deserve to be! But no holy way! We are always interested in having a fork in others cake. And why not? She is where I deserve to be. Do you know if you really deserve it? No. But you'll surely know that she doesn't! And I thought that our reasoning ability gives humans the elevation!! Silly me!


This brings me to the name of this post. When you keep a bunch of crabs in the box with no lid, you can be sure that none will come out. Coz when one tries to, its own kind pulls it down and this chain continues. The very phenomenon occurring in our day to day lives to such a great extent that it can be related more to humans than to crabs!

A beautiful line I came across - "Every one thinks they are different. Doesn't that make us same?" Yes. It's very true. We all comprise of the same energy particles and have same aura. Due to the choices we make, some energize these particles further, making their aura visible and magical ; some remain stagnant ; some find an all time low and create repulsive forces. They look at the magic and say, "this can't be for real", "this can't be for long", "he'll surely come crashing down", "it's all about luck and right time!".

This is for real, this can stay as long as you wish without biting the dust, you find you own luck and yes this is the right time! Make your life meaningful, don't fret over others success (unless you want it to migrate to a far away land!). You don't have to feel happy about other's happiness just feel happy knowing your turn is just round the corner.

Earthling!!

There are certain people in our lives who quite frankly are a pain in the arse! They correct your speech, improvise you language, point your flaws at ever single opportunity. They bitch about you IN YOUR FACE. Even better, talk about the same behind your back. They yell at you when you don't take care of their belongings and yell even more when you do. They put you through long chats (audio/visual) telling you what a big dumb-ass you are. They question your reasoning, doubt your decisions, criticize your every move!

They think you are annoying and crazy enough to push their buttons! Every action of yours is termed as childish by them. They blast you for showing them the mirror, expect the world out of you but throw water on all your expectations. They think you are not cool enough to be their friend but eventually come crashing on you coz.. hmm.. cozz.. well.. quite frankly they have nobody else to crash upon! (ouchh.. did that hurt???)

I know you are reading this.. I bloody well know you are. Yes you.. i mean YOU! I just got off the phone with you and you made me swear not to rip any of your patented dialogues and post them on my blog! Well.. ha ha on you.. they are not worth being made fun of here! I know you are offended now. But you know what?? You drive almost as well as I do! I know that will keep your ego boosted for a while. So lemme continue with the post.

So.. where was I? Ya.. those certain people. They give more importance to a child who just "happened" to be there on their special day and turn a blinds eye on you, when you've left a zillion important things just to make it there! (I am still annoyed F.Y.I) To make matters worse, they donate your soft toys to the very same child! (who by the way I am gonna torture the next time I meet!)

They think I am a lunatic. Probably they are right! Yes.. YOU.. you are right. Every time I think I need someone sane to talk to, I think of the most insane, egotistic, self-centered, "solid" earthling. (Ha ha my sweet revenge..)

I really don't know.. what is it about these people that makes you wanna kill them when they are around and makes you wanna kill yourself for not having them around? I have a lot of such cases in my list, but I don't know why YOU top it. Nopes.. I am not praising you, I think you are plain high headed. But then again.. what a pretty head! The same head I would like to chop every time YOU open that mouth and speak with such command that now, I wanna let go off your head and pull your tongue for speaking better than moi!

For all of you who've come this far in the post, I am trying to describe my love-hate relationship here! I might have confused you, but trust me if you knew the person I am taking about then I would probably be the hero you all aspire to be!

So we are back to YOU. Waiting for a compliment huh? You should've thought of that before you interrupted my movie time. For all the Jurassic Parks, Mummy returns and Hangovers you have cost me telling you are worth it, well.. you are not! YOU are worth a lot more! Ya.. a person(calling you this for lack of better words) who made me realize I've principles (and strong ones that too!!), YOU are worth more than you can imagine.  Not like I needed you to show me I had a spine, you know! Lemme tell you one thing, for a person who claims to have half a back, you have the strongest spine ever! Alas, you mental ability is inversely proportional to the strength of you spine! Oh.. did I mention you are a great driver!

And your jokes.. what is with them? Seriously Earthling, small fish being eaten by a bigger fish NOT FUNNY! But you reciting it like a poem and anticipating an uproar of laughter FUNNY. Your mom not remembering my first name not appreciated, the reputation you have earned coz me.. APPLAUDS! (I stand up, gentle bow!)

Keeping the length of this post in check, I am gonna have to create volumes of this post!

Before you book your ticket for the first flight back lemme tell you, as in YOU are really precious. For all the scenes you have created, I have loved playing a part. For all the names you have given me, I somehow can't get enough. For all the lectures you've unleashed on me, with ringing ear drums, I can listen to them till the end of the world (which I am hoping is soon!). For all the times you have turned the world against me and jumped by my side to take me through, I could crush you with a "gentle" hug! For proving to me that beauty can turn into a beast in the photos and making me feel beautiful every single moment. Thanks for introducing and re-introducing me to myself every time I lost track. YOU are the kinda trouble I would like to be a part off (see.. I've better lines to rip off than yours).

P.S: To be read midst of your assignments.. and wait.. almost forgot.. love you loads Earthling!

Used and thrown

I slogged my ass off last weekend, driving from one electronic store to other, haggling at every given opportunity and working harder to create more opportunities! Believe you me, when I tell you this - if you want to see a perfect example of human nature you ought to divert your attention to salesmen. Seriously, I mean it, with all due to respect to them, for all they are doing or at least attempting to do is be true to their job!

Have you ever noticed that broad smile on the faces of these salesmen when you make a grand entry into their stores? Even better, have you noticed the width of their smile reducing exponentially as the time you spend there increases? Here's the best, have you noticed how they personify a soldier at war front when faced with challenges of any sort regarding the quality/pricing of their commodities?

"This is the best price ma'am. You can check the entire market but you wont find any offer this reasonable"
Just when you go like.. uummmm.. hmmm... BANG! comes the most historic of all dialogues.. infact the mother of them all..
"If you find a similar product cheaper than this in any store I'll give you thrice the difference amount!"

Lemme tell you one thing with full conviction, THEY DON'T!

Anyways this post is not to be bitchy about their breed, coz after all they're human beings displaying perfect human behavior! Even though we were not born this way, over time we have transformed into people who live only for themselves. I always say that one has to live for oneself. Agreed. But not by stepping on others or by using the philosophy "Use and throw".

I have a very simple example to exhibit this behavior. Few years flashback.


Oh God!! Please ensure I pass in this exam! I promise.. like PROMISE you I'll try harder next time and pass on my own. Just this one time.. pleeeeeassseee!!

Once the results are out, so is God or even a slightest feeling of thanking God!!! (Till the next exam i.e!!!)

 Strikes a chord??? If it did not then picture me with my index finger pointing at your nose and saying STOP LYING!!!

So I guess I've established how the human behavior changes with every passing moment and not for the good if I might add! In my short life time I have met only a handful people who genuinely care. While few notice and appreciate this, the others just turn a blinds eye to them, continuing with their cynical way of life. A smile is no longer considered as an introduction or induction of a new relation. It is a gateway to a relation based on tangible things. I am not saying give and take relation is wrong. Nothing in the world is right or wrong, just the perspective. But wouldn't it be better if there is a give and take of intangible things like honesty and sincerity.

You all know by now how corporate culture repulses me. Not coz of the kinda work but coz of how people treat each other. If smiling extra is gonna earn you something, you smile like you are growing younger by every passing minute! If getting your head in your boss's ass is gonna get you a promotion, you hold your breath and retain the position till the end of this world! It's more like an epidemic. It starts with a few rotten fruits and before you know the whole basket it stinking! If you are one of those rotten fruits, I am not saying you are right or wrong. Ya, I might ask you to maintain a 100 feet distance to avoid my physical assault on you! As more and more people get into the IN thing, the so called "ideal" world blurs.

Change is inevitable does not convert to change is for bad! Life may not be ideal but if you are cynical there will be nothing alive! Just mechanical actions and reaction. If you wanna extract the most out of someone, don't forget that you are the "someone", sometime in the game. Remember the good and don't ever doubt your capacity of giving it back. Smile like the world depends on it. Recognize goodness before it escapes out of the window. If you ever tend to stumble upon a good fruit, please don't force it into the basket. Let it spread its pleasantness outside without being eaten or rotten!

P.S : Use and throw to be used and thrown!!!

Dark Night

During one of our soft skill training's we were asked to do an activity involving two people. They were made to stand one behind the other maintaining an arms distance between them. The person in front was to stand cross armed, close their eyes and fall back on their partners without taking any support, in any form, from her/his body. This includes no bending of knees, no letting go of our cross armed positions. Just falling backwards with our eyes closed. The exercise might sound simple as hell. But when it was my turn, just one look at the fragile girl who was taking her position to hold me as I fall, was enough to give me goosebumps. I thought, falling is embarrassing and when there is an audience embarrassment increases tenfold!! I failed in the first few attempts. Wanting to get done with the fiasco I decided to close my eye and take the plunge, backwards!!! As frail as the girl looked she could balance me! Moral of the story - you are never as fat as you think you are!!! <winks!>

The experience was done and dusted. Its only till recently did I realize the actual motive of it when I encountered a similar exercise in a book by Dr Joseph Murphy. Eyes are windows to the world. But it's been established time and again that what you see, cannot be believed. A perfect example of this would be Lady Justice. She has always been shown with a blindfold. This signifies an objective approach to things. In a mystical representation I can say there's always something more to things that what we see. So seeing is not believing. Coz more often than not, we see what we want to. We see fear coz we are scared of losing, we see failure coz we can't define success, we see pain, for we fear happiness would be short lived, we refuse love for the fear of losing it.

When you close you eyes, you shut yourself from the outside world. A perfect example would be the typical ghost scare all of us experienced as children. What did you do when you thought there was a ghost lurking in the corner of your room or under your bed? Most of us pulled up the sheets, covered our face, shut our eyes real tight so that no ghost could open them, even if he were to use all his might and prayed ourselves to sleep!!! Only to find ourselves unharmed the next day!

Now, coming back to the motive of the exercise. If we had kept our eyes open during the "fall" there would be a lotta doubts knocking our little brains. "What if I fall?", "I am gotta get laughed at royally!!!", "Why the hell am I doing this???" and blah blah. Even half a thought of such kind is enough for a person to say "I am not going ahead with this! This is lame!". This exercise is not about seeing how good are you at falling or how the other person excels in holding you just before you crack your skull. This is about building trust. Shutting your eyes to all your apprehensions, pushing your fears aside and embracing a world where, quite frankly you don't have a lot of say! Most importantly, trusting the fact that you are gonna be safe in that unknown kingdom.

In the so called "Kaliyug" trust is almost extinct. I guess that is one of the root causes of the downfall staring the society in its face! Since I have never been a "society person" I am not gonna expound on that topic anymore. But on a personal level, I truly believe that trust can do more than a lot of virtues put together. When you truly believe that there is a guiding force by your side and you acknowledge it, you cannot be harmed.

This concept has been beautifully explained under the name "Dark Night" in the book I am currently reading. A very apt name as generally dark is associated with evil. Hence, the not so appeasing side of humans is the "dark side". After every night comes a day, they say, hinting that night symbolizes all that's wrong with the world. But if you are able to understand the essence of dark night, you will be able to push through dark nights in your life with a faith that they will fade away leaving you stronger and teaching you skills required to lead a better life. Face the dark with the light of faith.

P.S : Recommendations - Brida by Paulo Coelho